Hiding my heart
by amethyst-uk
Summary: Written for the Blaine Big Bang. Blaine lives in New York with Cooper, who is now an acting teacher. He gives private lessons too, which Blaine suspects only pay so well because most of the students have a bit of a crush on Cooper. Which is fine by Blaine–until Kurt shows up as a new student.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello readers!**

**This fic was written for Beyond Dapper's Blaine Big Bang. If you don't know what that's about, look it up on Livejournal or Tumblr, you won't regret it! There has been some really great works this year, and it's still going on for a couple of days more. About 30 fics already posted, all completed and all of them 25k+... doesn't it sound like heaven?**

**For this one, I owe a huge thanks to my beta, the amazing secret_chord25, and one just as big to volsura, who created the incredible art that accompanies this fic. You guys can check it out on volsura dot tumblr dot com / post / 33658510338 / blaine - big - bang - 2012 - tumblr - lj - october - 15 (stupid restriction on posting links...)**

** Also, all my heart to my dearest Vanilla, who is the Kurt to my Blaine and somehow manages to keeps me sane.**

**And as always, every and all feedback is welcome, either here or on my Tumblr account.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

**Chapter One**

Immediately upon entering to the coffee shop, Blaine was greeted with the smell of the best caffeine in the city. He smiled.

It was probably his favorite place in all New York.

_Valdez_ was a medium-sized coffee shop, which Blaine thought would get way more customers if they actually advertised they sold coffee - it was _excellent_. The place, though, was a large basement under a residential building, with no windows to the outside and only a small sign at the door with the name of the shop and a little Colombian flag next to it. Once he heard the baristas jokingly say that most of the neighbors thought they were drug dealers and ignored the place like the plague.

Blaine could see the reason they would think that, since the establishment was kind of hidden and the people coming in and out of it could be pretty eccentric. He himself had found the shop on accident, one afternoon when it was pouring down and he was desperately looking for a place to take cover. But when he'd actually gone inside, he'd find himself in the nicest and most comfortable café, filled with mismatched antique furniture and attended by the warmest people. The baristas were all Colombian (or at least Blaine thought they were), and they all had this relaxed, happy feeling about them.

Though the place was never completely full, it was never empty, either. The customers were mostly students who would bring their books to study while drinking their coffee, and Blaine loved the way they sort of looked like they were all friends even if they didn't know each other at all. There were also a few large sofas in the shop, enough to fit four or five people at the time, and Blaine frequently saw how it could be filled by people who didn't know each other but felt comfortable enough to share the space.

And beyond the excellent coffee and similarly great biscotti, there was another reason Blaine liked the shop so much.

True, he hadn't seen _him_ until about a month later after coming regularly for his coffee, and would have kept coming anyway, but he would be lying if he didn't admit that he now made a point of coming certain days and at certain hours when he figured he'd most likely run into _him_ as well.

And to think the only thing he knew about the guy was his name.

_Kurt_. He had to be the most handsome and stylish guy to ever grace the streets of New York. He was always impeccably dressed and looked absolutely mesmerizing when he studied. Blaine should probably have felt embarrassed about the number of hours he spent pretending to read his book and drink his coffee while fixedly watching every gesture in Kurt's face and every movement of his body.

Blaine liked to sit close to the cash register so he could listen to Kurt's lyrical voice giving his coffee order. As he was also a regular, the baristas knew his name already and would greet him happily every time he came. Blaine would sometimes get butterflies in his stomach just by hearing one of them say "Hi, Kurt; what can I get you today?"

Kurt always asked for a large non-fat mocha, sometimes adding biscotti or a cookie to his order, and would then sit on one of the corners to memorize a new play. Well, at least Blaine was almost sure they were plays, because Kurt would mouth the words as he read them over and over again until he could tell them without looking at the book. He would sometimes make little expressions along with it, like furrowing his brows if the character was supposed to be mad, or smiling if it was supposed to be happy. Blaine would watch, enthralled, wondering how just one guy could be so attractive.

Not that Blaine was being creepy or anything. He was just very observant.

The thing was, Blaine could never quite work out the nerve to talk to Kurt. Even when Kurt would catch him staring and Blaine would act like he was so deep in thought that he was just looking wherever, he could never suck it up and go introduce himself. He just got so _nervous_; afraid he would say or do something stupid. The time when he sang to a GAP employee and made the biggest fool of himself reared its ugly head every time, and he just couldn't do it. Besides, Kurt was _gorgeous_. And even if Blaine wasn't ugly himself, Kurt was probably way out of his league. He probably had an equally attractive model boyfriend somewhere and wouldn't look twice at someone like Blaine.

Still, Kurt continued to spend a lot of time in the shop, and as the weeks went by, Blaine figured he would have seen a boyfriend already if he existed. And if Kurt was available – well, that most likely wouldn't last, because he was _beautiful_. So Blaine should probably make a move, because then at least he could tell himself he tried.

The chance came to him one morning while he was getting his first caffeine boost of the day before he ran to school. Kurt was in front of him in line, and even if Blaine could only see his neck and the back of his head, he was working very hard on not blushing.

"Non-fat mocha?" asked Catalina, Blaine's favorite barista. She had tanned skin and big brown eyes and always looked at Blaine like he was a strayed puppy she wanted to cuddle. Sometimes she gave him free cookies if he came late at night before they closed and it looked like they wouldn't be able to sell them anyway.

"Please," Kurt confirmed, opening his messenger's bag. He ruffled through it once, then twice. Blaine heard a whispered 'shit' before Kurt spoke normally again. "I'm so sorry, I think I forgot my wallet… ugh, now I have to go back… just, can you cancel that order?"

It was as good an opportunity as Blaine would ever get. He jumped into action before he could talk himself out of it.

"No need to cancel; I can pay this round." Blaine stepped forward and smiled to Kurt, hoping he didn't look as weird or sound as shaky as he felt. "A medium drip, Cata. And the mocha, too." He extended a ten-dollar bill to Catalina, who smiled widely and took it, repeating the order to her co-workers.

"Oh, you don't have to do that. Really, it's not necessary," said Kurt, trying and failing to stop Blaine. He looked embarrassed, and Blaine just grinned.

"That's fine. I can't work properly if I don't drink my coffee in the morning, and I've seen you a lot around here, so you're probably the same," Blaine offered, walking to the other side of the counter to wait for his drink, Kurt behind him.

Blaine had a second to panic about saying too much. Was it too forward to say he had noticed him a lot before? Would he come off as creepy?

"Well… thank you," Kurt said with a smile, following Blaine to wait for their drinks. "I'm Kurt, by the way."

"Blaine." His grin widened upon thinking that now, he could 'officially' know Kurt's name, even though he'd known it for almost a month. They shook hands for a second, and Blaine wondered if there was something alive in his stomach trying to eat him, with all the fluttering and twisting going on. Those feelings could not be normal.

"I've seen you around a lot, too," Kurt noted. "Next time it'll be my turn to buy you coffee, ok?"

Blaine's heart made a small jump. Was it stupid to get so excited over something so little? Kurt was probably just being nice.

"You don't really have to," Blaine assured him. "But if you do, I would never turn down free coffee."

_Ask for his number! _his conscience screamed. _This is your chance – get his number!_

Kurt smiled, his gaze flitting to the baristas behind the counter. It didn't look like their orders were finished yet, so he turned again to Blaine.

"So, what do you do when you aren't buying caffeine drinks to total strangers, Blaine?" he asked with a playful smile. Blaine blinked off his surprise that Kurt was still talking to him and replied quickly.

"I'm majoring in psychology in NYU." He wondered if telling Kurt he was also doing a minor in music would help them bond better, since Kurt was obviously in some drama school. "What about you?"

"Second year at Tisch. Makes it a little out-of-the-way to come here every morning, but the excellent coffee makes up for it."

"Exactly. Don't you ever forget that," put in the barista behind the counter with a wink, extending their orders. They took them gratefully and looked at each other again expectantly. Naturally, it was right then that Blaine remembered he was in a hurry to get to class.

"Well…" he started. _Ask for his number. Now is the perfect time; just ask him._

"It was really nice of you to buy me coffee. I have to go now, but I promise I'll make it up to you whenever I see you again," said Kurt.

_Just ask for his number. It's the perfect opening – ask for him and maybe ask if he wants to meet tomorrow. He always comes on Wednesdays, so he'll be here anyway. It'd be a __date__._

"Anytime. Kurt-"

"Thanks again. I'll see you soon!"

He was out of the door before Blaine could say another word. He stood there for another couple of seconds cursing internally, but he had to get going as well.

Still, he _had_ talked to Kurt. He had _finally_ talked to Kurt, and though they weren't exactly friends or anything yet, he had said he would get Blaine coffee, and Blaine could work onto making it a date. He could try to get Kurt to sit with him every time they ran into each other, which he would make sure was often enough, and eventually they _could_ turn into friends, and maybe then more than friends, and then-

_Wow, stop. You barely exchanged more than five phrases._

Blaine sighed, but smiled. He _was_ closer to Kurt than he had been half an hour before, and that alone was enough to put him in a good mood the rest of the day.

* * *

Blaine looked the time on his cell phone and sighed. Cooper was late _again_. They were supposed to meet more than half an hour ago to get dinner at their favorite pizza place, but Cooper hadn't made it yet. Blaine would have been more exasperated if he wasn't already so used to it; now, he just wondered why he bothered to always be on time.

He wondered if he should text again. Cooper had texted ten minutes before saying he was almost there, but Blaine knew his "almost there" could mean up to half an hour of waiting. Why did he put up with this, again?

"Hey, sorry, little bro. I met with this guy who wants to start lessons and time just flew." Cooper slid into the booth with an apologetic smile, reaching out to put an arm around Blaine's shoulders. Blaine almost told him off for being late, but there was really no point; Cooper would probably always make him wait. He just didn't give punctuality too much importance, at least not when Blaine was concerned, probably because Cooper was comfortable with being his chaotic self with his brother.

"Whatever. You'll have to buy me dessert," Blaine replied, finally smiling, too. They walked down the street towards their pizza place, Cooper keeping his arm around his brother. He could be a rather touchy-feely kind of person, and when he was with Blaine, he always made a point of initiating contact in some way. Blaine remembered that things hadn't been like that before, when he thought Cooper was like his parents and just didn't care about him. But ever since the visit he'd paid to Westerville during Blaine's junior year, when they managed to actually talk about their feelings, Cooper had become almost overly tactile. Blaine remembered how they found themselves singing about their emotions in Dalton's music classroom, admitting they felt like strangers, and how Cooper had hugged him for almost five minutes later, saying he wanted to remember the feeling so he could use it on his auditions. The thought that he probably touched him so much now because it made him remember would always make Blaine smile.

Even if life in New York was a bit different than Blaine had expected, it was by far the best thing that ever happened to him. He'd been uncertain about where to go after high school, mainly because he sort of hated feeling like he was leaving a house where he felt so alone just to head some other place where he'd be alone again. New York _had_ been his top option, but Los Angeles had been pretty up there too, just because it was the place his brother had been at the time.

Blaine still didn't know if Cooper had looked for it or if it was really some beautiful coincidence, but just a couple of weeks after Blaine admitted over Skype that he was thinking about New York (because as much as Cooper and him had a much better relationship at that point, he didn't know if his brother wanted a tag-along who was ten years younger living with him), Cooper had made a trip to Westerville to announce that he had decided to move to the Big Apple. He had gotten an offer for an assistant professor job for the New York Film Academy, and "as much as _real_ acting is my passion, I figured that imparting my wisdom to wannabes is worthwhile in its own way. And the pay's good."

Blaine had breathed the biggest sigh of relief that day.

Cooper had first headed to the city about three months before Blaine graduated and found a place big enough for both of them, thanks to his last commercial gig and a few well-placed contacts. The apartment also had a spacious living room, which now Cooper used to give private acting lessons, a side-job that was working surprisingly well for him.

"So this guy I met, he's actually a drama student, but he came to that seminar Rosy and I gave last week, and said he was so impressed he wanted to try some film acting, just to see if it works for him as well as theater, you know? Keeping his options open. So we were arranging a schedule, because he wants to have two classes per week since finals are still far away and he can manage the time. He's really talented, you know? In a very out-of-the-ordinary sort of way, but I think that's actually a good thing. To be distinguishable, right? I told him as much and he seemed really thankful that I said it. So yeah, he's coming home for lessons on Tuesdays and Fridays, which will make it a little crowded because I still have Stuart earlier those days and Madison on Wednesdays and Rebecca on the weekends and probably another girl who contacted me yesterday, but I still don't know. I hoped you wouldn't mind? I've got takeout covered for this Friday, don't worry."

Blaine couldn't help but smile wider at his brother as he rambled. Cooper talked too much and could be rather obnoxious, but he'd grown more caring over the years.

"It's fine, Coop. Using the living-room for your lessons was the excuse you gave me for not letting me pay my share of the rent, so the least thing you can do is actually _use_ it."

Cooper dismissed him with a hand gesture. "Not need to spend your trust fund if I have it covered. You're a smart guy, Blainey. You can keep studying your psychology-thingy up to a master's and I bet you'll be the best of them. And I could totally recommend you when you graduate. By that time I'd either become very famous myself or taught my fair share of Grammy-nominees, so I'll have a wide number of connections. You could get a master's in counseling famous people! You know, like a specialist to analyze the craziness of high-profile media entertainers?"

Blaine laughed. It wasn't like Cooper was and idiot, per se, but he had a habit of saying whatever came to his mind, no matter how little sense it made.

"It doesn't really work like that," Blaine said, shaking his head. "I mean, I guess I _could_ specialize in working with famous people, but you'd do it more out of experience than out of any theoretical knowledge."

"Well, if I recommend you, you'd get tons of experience." And even though Cooper's logic wasn't very likely, Blaine just nodded and went along with it.

Even if they didn't always understand each other, Blaine saw Cooper as the most important person in his life, and after years of growing up in a home where the best description to everyone's relationship was "indifference," Blaine just appreciated the feeling of someone actually _caring_ about him or his future.

* * *

Friday afternoon found Blaine sitting at the _Valdez_ again, his second cup of coffee in hand and his feet tapping nervously on the floor. _Come_ _on_; it was Friday and Kurt always came on Fridays. Why hadn't he made an appearance yet?

If Blaine was honest, he was starting to panic a little. He knew it was stupid – it had been just three days – but he hadn't bumped into Kurt again, even when he'd stayed in the coffee shop for longer than usual. He had to bear Catalina's knowing winks every time he asked for a refill, and on Thursday night he saw her whispering to her dreadlocked co-worker while looking at him, only to have the guy come offer him some cookies before they closed with a smirk that matched Catalina's.

But even though he practically lived in the café these days, he must have had horrible luck and missed Kurt, or Kurt hadn't come back. Even though it felt absurd, Blaine started wondering if maybe Kurt had stopped coming because of him. What if he had been too forward that last time and he had scared him away? Surely Kurt didn't want a creepy guy hitting on him when all he wanted was to relax with his drink. And as much as three days did not make a long time, Blaine was pretty sure Kurt used to come every day before, so his absence _was_ noticeable.

Blaine knew Kurt's coffee times on the week fairly accurately, but he wasn't as lucky on the weekends. Preferring to sleep in when he had time and to visit other places, Blaine didn't really visit the shop on Saturday or Sunday, so he didn't know if Kurt did. Would it be worth it coming back tomorrow and spend his whole day waiting if it meant he could finally get coffee with Kurt?

Frustrated, he sighed and looked at the hour. It was early enough that Cooper would probably still be giving lessons, but he didn't feel like staying anymore. On the other hand, being in the apartment while Cooper and his student of choice where there didn't appeal him, either.

The truth was, Cooper's lessons made him kind of uncomfortable. It wasn't only that he didn't really agree with his brother's techniques – sometimes the students would give him very dirty looks for daring to be home, even if he remained in his bedroom until the class had finished.

Cooper was a good actor – overall. Blaine knew he could do wonderful things, _especially_ if he had a competent director at his side. But every time he had to be _spontaneous_, Cooper would focus on minute things and make them as over the top as he could. And Blaine knew it was because that was just the way Cooper's mind worked. He wasn't _bad_; he just missed a lot of the bigger hints while trying to place emphasis on the smaller things.

Like, after Blaine's 'incident' at his school dance, Cooper went home to spend time with him, but while all Blaine wanted was comfort and someone to lean on while his body healed, Cooper, for some reason he couldn't fathom, obsessed over the fact that Blaine's friends and classmates should have his home address because "_they'd definitely want to visit or send flowers._" Blaine spent the next week trying to make Cooper understand that ever since he'd come out, he didn't really have friends, and that giving his classmates his address would turn to be more dangerous than rewarding, and that Mom and Dad had offered to pay for a private school so that he would never have to see them again. Cooper kept insisting, and every time Blaine had to explain it again, it was like adding salt to his wounds. He'd kept wondering if Cooper had been doing it on purpose.

Blaine had said goodbye to Cooper after that visit feeling more alienated from his brother than ever. Now, Blaine knew he had been too hurt to be able to recognize Coop's intentions, because all his brother had wanted was to make Blaine feel better by having lots of people supporting him. "_Why would anybody _not_ love you and want to send you flowers?_" he remembered Cooper asking several years later when the topic came up. _ "It's the first thing I wanted to do. Apart from seeing you, that is._"

It was sweet that Cooper had refused to believe his classmates didn't adore him like some kind of Disney-idol, but it didn't change the fact that the way he had treated things was completely wrong.

Another big example was Cooper's failure to tell Blaine that he liked men as well. He wasn't gay, exactly, and his few serious relationships had actually been with women, but he'd had _flings_ with other boys, as Blaine had found just after he moved in with him. Blaine thought it was something he _should_ have mentioned long before, if only to make less awkward the time Blaine came out to him, but after questioning his brother, the only answer he could get from him was that "_it would be unfair to deny guys the chance to be with someone as amazing as me_."

It made Blaine wonder if Cooper even knew the reason why he had had such a difficult time back in high school, because didn't he realize how big a difference it would have made for Blaine to know he wasn't really alone? And it wasn't even like Cooper didn't tell him because he feared any sort of bad outcome, either – Blaine was sure Cooper hadn't told him because he didn't _realize_ it was important.

Really, Cooper too often failed to notice the obvious things while focusing on the needless, and it showed in every aspect of his life, including his teaching. So even if he was awesome as an assistant professor (the professor he was working for, Rosy, was a wacky, brilliant lady who excelled on making Cooper's abilities surface, which was reason enough for Blaine to appreciate her), he was rather… misdirected as the main teacher. It usually led to his students not taking more than a month of lessons with him, once they figured it wasn't some modern way of teaching that made the whole thing so ridiculous.

Except, of course, when the teaching itself wasn't the reason the students wanted to meet Cooper.

If Blaine hadn't seen it with his own eyes, he wouldn't believe the amount of people willing to pay to spend time with a person they wanted to date. (Or fuck. It really depended on the student.)

Madison, for example, only wanted to sleep with Cooper. She had that 'conquest' look to her eyes and was really fighting for it, if three months of meetings were any indication. That other girl, Sarah, who had just stopped taking lessons last month, was more of a typical sort, looking for a long-term boyfriend to introduce to her parents and friends. And Stuart, the guy who came every Tuesday, would probably accept either.

It wasn't like _all_ the students Cooper got had the hots for him, but Blaine couldn't deny it was a factor. For god's sake, he had eyes and he was gay – he could see his brother was exceptionally good-looking. He just didn't understand how so many people would think they had a chance if they spent enough time with him, never mind that they had to pay him.

Then again, he would probably jump at any chance he got to spend time with Kurt. Hell, he had spent the last three hours in a coffee shop just in the hopes of running into him. If he thought his brother's students were silly, he himself was downright pathetic.

With that last thought, Blaine left the _Valdez_ and started walking his way home. It was movie-and-takeout night anyway, so he shouldn't be late, and he was feeling a little creeped out by himself anyway, thinking about his obsession with Kurt. Should he try to get over him? Was there even anything to get over with? Did his waiting at the _Valdez_ rank the same as Coop's student's pay-for-a-possible-date?

In Cooper's favor, though, he neither slept with any of his students nor tried a romantic relationship with any of them. Blaine was sure it was more due to the fact that he didn't realize his students liked him, but he thought it very professional of his brother either way. He sort of hoped Cooper would never realize his student's motives – he always looked so proud of his lessons that Blaine would hate the disappointment it would bring him.

His train of thought was cut short when he realized he was already in front of his own door.

He tried to listen through it to see if there were any voices. If there was a lesson going on, chances were he'd be able to hear it, because Cooper's lessons tended to get _loud_. His brother had a thing for shouting, like he thought the louder it was, the more emotion and intensity it brought to the acting. Blaine thought it was nonsensical and had debated with Cooper over and over about how silences could be just as powerful. He wasn't sure if Cooper ever listened to him, though – it was hard to know when Cooper was paying attention and when he was lost in his own world.

The apartment appeared to be silent, so Blaine guessed the lesson had probably ended early. He sighed, relieved – he could just relax for the night now.

"Hey there, shrimp," Cooper called out as a greeting. Blaine just rolled his eyes, leaving his keys on the small hook at the side of the door. Cooper had called him 'shrimp' when they were kids and still living in their parent's house. The pet name had faded off once Cooper had left and the distance between them had started growing, but when they started living together, the pet name made a comeback as well. Blaine didn't complain much about it – his parents had never had a pet name for him, not even 'honey' or 'sweetheart' from his mother, so he kind of liked Cooper's. Even with the implications that he looked like a crustacean.

"Hi Coop," answered Blaine, looking into the living room as his brother fathered some papers together. "Just finished?"

"Yep, wrapping up," Cooper confirmed, leaving the papers in a neat pile. Blaine nodded, taking his jacket off, but he only got halfway before he was suddenly wrapped in one of Cooper's arms while the other messed violently with Blaine's hair.

"So s'up, little bro? Had a nice day?" laughed Cooper, his arm holding tight while Blaine tried to get off.

"Cooper! Cut it out; we're not kids anymore!" Blaine huffed, although he started laughing a bit as well. Cooper had never really grown up, but Blaine had fun with him anyway.

They struggled a while longer, Blaine pushing Cooper and Cooper holding Blaine by his neck, both of them used to this kind of rough-housing. Except this time, Cooper let him go so suddenly that Blaine tripped on the end of the carpet, landing painfully on his ass.

"Ow! Coop, what the hell?" he demanded –

Until his eyes traveled upward and he saw a third person on the room. A gorgeous, skinny jean-wearing and with-perfectly-coiffed-brown-hair person.

Blaine's eyes grew wide and his brain went blank.

"Found the bathroom?" Cooper asked like nothing had happened, stepping innocently away from Blaine.

"Yes, thank you." Kurt looked somewhere between apprehensive and amused. Blaine could only stare, wondering if he'd gotten so infatuated with the boy that he was now hallucinating.

"Blaine, this is Kurt, the student I told you about the other day," Cooper called from the table, where he was gathering papers again. "Kurt, this is my little brother, Blaine."

Kurt's expression softened, brightening into a pleasant smile. He walked to Blaine, extending a hand.

"Blaine. Small world, huh? Need some help?" And just then, Blaine realized he was still on the floor. His face went red, but he accepted Kurt's hand and stumbled to his feet. Even in such a confusing moment, he managed to wonder if Kurt's hands weren't the softest things on Earth.

"Thank you," Blaine muttered once on his feet, trying to fix his rumbled clothes and messed hair. God, his hair – it must have looked absolutely dreadful, thanks to Cooper. Was it some sort of joke, to have him meet the boy he was crazy about when he looked like an idiot?

There was a pause, and Blaine felt like he should say something else, acknowledge Kurt in some way. To think that he'd spent hours in a coffee shop coming up with things to say to Kurt if he ever had the chance for conversation – and right now, all of them escaped him. Although, if he was honest, he would've never dreamed of finding Kurt in his own _living room_.

"I didn't expect to meet you here," Kurt finally said, when more time had passed and Blaine remained (_stupidly_) silent. He wanted to kick himself. Kurt was undoubtedly thinking he was some sort of moron who didn't even know the basic social protocol of greeting people.

"Yeah, well, seems like my brother is your new teacher," was all he managed to say, and then wanted to kick himself again. _Great, Blaine, just go ahead and repeat the obvious over and over again._

"Hey, you guys know each other?" Cooper asked, joining the conversation. He walked to them and offered Kurt the papers he had been gathering before; Kurt smiled brightly and took them.

"Um, yeah, kind of. We go to the same coffee shop," Blaine offered, looking at Kurt's smile and feeling a little lost. It wasn't like they _actually_ knew each other. Blaine knew a lot about Kurt, but only because he was a heartbeat away from becoming his stalker.

"Yes; the other day I forgot my wallet and Blaine was nice enough to pay for my coffee," Kurt said, and this time, he directed his smile right to Blaine. He suddenly forgot to feel like an idiot because god, when Kurt smiled like that it felt like angels had started to sing.

"Such a gallant little guy," said Cooper with a smile, and although he seemed to say it affectionately, Kurt's chuckle made Blaine burn with embarrassment. He had never wished for his brother to disappear like right now.

"Letting someone go the whole morning without coffee is not right," Blaine said defensively. Kurt smiled to him again and nodded in agreement, which was enough for Blaine to stop brooding.

"You caffeine addicts," laughed Cooper. "Well, Kurt, I'll see you next Tuesday, then?"

"Definitely," answered Kurt, sliding his papers into his messenger bag and putting on his jacket. "I'll make sure to go over these."

"Great. Let me get my keys and I'll walk you outside." Cooper rummaged around in his pockets, running to his bedroom when the keys didn't present themselves. Blaine wondered why they bothered to have a hook at the side of the front door if his brother never used it.

"So Blaine," started Kurt, and he immediately had all of Blaine's attention. "I still owe you for that coffee. I was really busy these past few days, but I'm sure next week I'll be back to the _Valdez._"

Blaine smiled and felt his stomach flutter. This meant Kurt wanted to see him, right? He was probably being nice again, but maybe he could be just a little bit interested-

"So, maybe I could repay you on Monday?"

Blaine smiled and started to nod right when Cooper came back with his keys in his hand and a triumphant smile. He motioned to the door, and Kurt spoke again, more quickly.

"Ten or eleven-ish. I'll be there studying for a while, so if you can, come whenever. If you want to."

Blaine felt twists of happiness all over his body. "Yeah! Of course. I'll be there," he managed, almost forgetting how to breathe and fighting his smile from splitting his head in two.

"I'll see you then," said Kurt before following Cooper to the door. Blaine remained in the same spot, grinning like an idiot, until he heard Cooper's steps returning. Then he retreated to his room and proceeded to giggle into his pillow.

He had a date with _Kurt_.

* * *

Okay, even if it probably didn't count as a date, Blaine had to try and make his best impression, right? He spent all weekend debating with himself about what to do, what to wear, what to talk about, and if there was even the smallest chance he could _really_ turn the meeting into a date. How did you showed a guy you wanted to date him without coming on too strongly? Blaine didn't want to freak Kurt out.

And what if Kurt wasn't interested at all? He was handsome and charming and amazing and breathtakingly gorgeous, and Blaine was… well, Blaine. He was all right, he guessed, but surely not as outstandingly good-looking as to date a guy like Kurt. In that matter, he sometimes envied Cooper, who was obviously the handsome one in the family. He'd had a lot more luck with love interests, at least back in college when he was more interested in them.

Then again, while Cooper was easy to be attracted to, he was much harder to relate to, character-wise. Blaine's brother was funny and amusing, but he was also clueless and obnoxious in a way that could make him seem rather… well, like an asshole.

Blaine knew, on the other hand, that his own personality was a bigger asset than his looks. He knew he was nice, and he knew how to charm people, how to be polite and thoughtful, and he always tried to be a good friend. So he probably had a better chance at trying to become Kurt's friend first, if he wanted to get closer.

With that in mind, Blaine chose a passably-normal outfit on Monday, trying his best to not look like he was trying to impress Kurt. He did make sure he was all groomed up and used a little more cologne than normal, but overall, he looked ready for a normal day of classes.

Blaine spent awhile mulling over what time to go to the coffee shop. He didn't want to get there too late, but if he got there before Kurt, he'd probably look too eager. He thought about waiting for Kurt with coffee already bought for both of them because then Kurt would have to schedule _another_ coffee meeting to repay his coffee, but he was afraid it'd come off as too obvious.

In the end, he arrived at twenty minutes after ten because that was the time he came most Mondays anyway, since he had classes in the afternoon. He was nervous, of course, but decided he should try and behave normally. He wanted to impress Kurt, but he didn't want to play being someone he wasn't.

When he stepped into the café, Kurt was sitting at the table near the counter where Blaine usually sat. He was facing the door and so spotted Blaine instantly, smiling and waving at him. Blaine returned the smile, feeling like he floated to Kurt instead of walking those final steps to the table.

"Hi! I'm glad you could make it." Kurt motioned to the chair in front of him. Blaine got his coat off and sat down, half of him praying to not say anything stupid but mostly just soaking in Kurt's presence. It was pretty ridiculous, the power that this almost unknown guy seemed to have over him.

"Coffee, Kurt. Nobody says no to coffee," Blaine said. He couldn't go wrong in trying to bond over caffeine with this guy. Kurt laughed, the most adorable dimples appearing on his face.

"I'm with you right there, although it saddens me to say that not everyone shares the feeling. Apparently 'coffee's too bitter' for some people," Kurt said, rolling his eyes.

Blaine looked at Kurt, horrified. "Seriously? Coffee is the best thing that happened to mankind since the Chinese invented silk."

Kurt smiled. "Well, different tastes and all that."

"Yeah, you're probably right. I mean, my own brother isn't a big fan. He goes for coffee with me if I insist, but he always gets one of those sugary concoctions that barely tastes like it," Blaine said, his expression fond. He's still amused over Cooper's insistence on drinking chocolate milk on mornings instead of coffee. Maybe the excess of sugar is the reason he's always overly energetic on any given day.

"Really? That sounds… very much like him, actually." Kurt smiled fondly too. Blaine frowned a little. He didn't know Kurt and his brother knew that much about each other.

"Medium drip and a cinnamon cookie," said a voice from the side, and Blaine found the dreadlocked barista placing his usual order in front of him. Kurt smiled at the guy.

"I hope this is fine. Felipe said you always ask for the same thing in the mornings, so I asked him to bring it over when you arrived. I didn't know when it'd be, and I didn't want your coffee to get cold."

Blaine smiled at Kurt's thoughtfulness. God, he couldn't believe five minutes into this meet-up he already liked Kurt even more than before. He thanked the barista, who winked at him before returning to the counter. Somehow Blaine was sure he and Catalina would be gossiping about this at the first opportunity.

Blaine took a sip of his coffee, letting the taste calm him before starting to worry about looking like an idiot in front of Kurt. But he actually found himself a lot more at ease than he'd been in his living room last Friday. Maybe it was because he'd been caught off-guard then, because drinking coffee in silence with Kurt didn't feel uncomfortable at all.

Still, if he wanted to gain "friend" status here, he had to start a conversation. He noted Kurt's book on the table and figured it was as good place to start as any.

"So, you're a drama student, huh?" he said, happy to see Kurt focusing on him right away. "Tisch has a really good program. You must be really talented."

"Well, my first choice was NYADA, but I didn't get in," answered Kurt. There was a small frown on his brow, and Blaine worried about starting the conversation the wrong way, but the frown was gone almost as soon as he'd noticed it. "Tisch _is_ really good, though. I'm really enjoying it."

"Hmm; well, NYADA does have a big reputation, but I always thought the talent is more in the person than in the school, you know? Cooper says you're great," Blaine remarked. Kurt seemed to light up with the comment, and Blaine felt a wave of warmth soak his body. Was it wrong if his new goal in life became to light up Kurt's life?

"He said that? We've barely had one class together," Kurt said, but he looked pleased with himself.

"Oh yeah; he was happy to start lessons with you. He takes his students very seriously."

Kurt hummed in acknowledgement but didn't say anything else. Blaine sipped his coffee again, letting Kurt to his thoughts for a little while. He looked adorable with that small smile on his lips.

"He's an interesting person, your brother," Kurt commented a moment later. "He seems really enthusiastic about what he does."

"Yeah, Cooper…" Blaine laughed a bit, thinking about his brother. "I guess 'enthusiastic' is the only way he knows to approach things. It's just the way he is. At least with the things that interest him."

"Really? What other things interest him apart from his acting?" Kurt asked, sounding overly nonchalant.

Blaine took a breath to answer him – and that was the moment it hit him. He looked at Kurt's face, eager to hear about Blaine's brother, and his stomach made an incredibly unpleasant flip.

Blaine did his best to keep his voice from shaking while he told Kurt about Cooper's recent love for teaching and his guilty pleasure of following famous people's lives on _E!_. Kurt seemed to note his hesitation on talking about his brother and quickly turned the topic to his own guilty pleasures and asking Blaine about his, but even Kurt's excitement to find about Blaine's love for musicals didn't manage to lift his spirits.

Kurt liked his brother. Kurt was pursuing _Cooper_. Kurt was one of the sadly misguided students who thought they'd have a chance if they only had enough time with him. And if the way Kurt managed to turn the conversation to Cooper every few minutes was any indication, he had decided becoming friends with Blaine was a good ploy to get closer to his goal. The fourth time Kurt managed to ask offhandedly what Cooper thought about the topic they were discussing, Blaine felt like he would start crying if he kept it up. He ended up lying about having a study meeting just so he could leave.

Kurt seemed discouraged about that, but it didn't stop him from suggesting they get coffee more often.

Blaine agreed with no intention on following through. The last hour had showed him that Kurt was not only gorgeous and fashionable, he was smart and funny and downright fascinating. He was everything Blaine could ask for in a guy, and he was interested in his fucking _brother_. He probably saw Blaine just as a way to get information about him.

Blaine felt cheated by life. For a couple of days, he had been in nervous heaven, thinking he had a shot with Kurt, and it turned out he'd never ranked as more than a pawn.

Blaine returned home and sulked until it was time for his afternoon classes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

If Blaine was honest with himself, he should have seen it coming.

Because how exactly did he ever think a guy like Kurt would be interested in a guy like him? Yes, Blaine was nice enough, but he was just… average.

He went to a good enough school, but not the best. He had good enough grades, but not the best. He wasn't ugly, but he wasn't incredibly handsome, either. He was a good enough singer, but by _far_ not the best. He had learned since coming to New York that there were _so_ many talented people around, and he'd started to feel really embarrassed about how seriously he had taken himself when he was the lead singer of the Warblers. _Of course_ he could be a big shot in Westerville, Ohio, and of course the Warblers would have him sing all the songs – they were his friends. Besides, the Warblers were about singing in a group. None of them cared much who led them as long as they sounded well together. Blaine had always known that, but he couldn't deny that he had let the whole 'lead singer' thing get to his head.

He was suddenly thankful he had chosen psychology as his main degree, something where he didn't have to put himself out there and try to get others lo like him if he wanted to succeed. He had never felt more inadequate in his life.

Well, that was probably a lie. He had felt plenty inadequate in his life, but it was a feeling usually related to his parents.

What he had never felt was inadequate next to his _brother_. Their relationship had had a lot of bumps over the years, many of which had hurt a lot, but he'd never felt _less_ than Cooper. Now, knowing the guy he liked was trying to get to his brother instead, he couldn't stop comparing the two of them.

It was night already, and he was watching his brother read some notes for the class he would be giving while Rosy was in London, and it was obvious why so many people liked him. Even wearing sweatpants and a loose shirt and those thick-rimmed glasses he only used at home, he was _stupidly_ attractive. Blaine looked at himself, still in his day clothes, his hair still gelled to his head, and sighed at how much he lacked.

For one, he was too short. He always joked with his friends that being short made him cuter, but truthfully, he had always been a bit self-conscious about it. It made him feel like he looked delicate and childish.

Then there were his clothes. Yes, he liked to be well-groomed, but he knew it made him look pretty nerd-ish. And he mostly liked that look, too, because it made him feel serious and smart, a trait not held by many guys his age, but right now, he just felt ridiculous. He wasn't that smart, and once he trusted someone, he would start to behave more like a silly kid than a serious adult. At the moment, his clothes made him feel just… fake.

And was he even as nice as he thought he was? Sure, he tried to be polite to everyone and he liked to help people. But he was probably just a stupid people-pleaser and maybe everyone didn't really like him but were too nice to tell him he was being absurd. Oh god, maybe everyone hated him. Maybe Kurt had hated him, too, but just dealt with it because he wanted to get closer to Cooper.

And seriously, how could he _ever_ compete with Cooper? His brother looked like he was posing for a magazine at every second of his life. He was the sort of attractive person that made _anything_ look good. Whatever Cooper wore looked fashionable and trendy on him, even if it would be just normal on anyone else. He was tall and handsome, and people instantly liked him. Sure, some of them probably didn't know the real Cooper, not like Blaine did, but… well, it was just obvious he didn't stand a chance.

Blaine sighed deeply, closing his eyes. God, he was going crazy. The one guy he liked turned out to like someone else, and he suddenly doubted everything about his life. _That_ was pathetic.

"Everything alright, shrimp?" Cooper called from the table. Blaine was on the couch, not paying attention to whatever was on the TV right now. "You look kind of tense."

Blaine took a deep breath, trying to calm down. He was thinking too much. So what if Kurt wasn't interested in him? Kurt wasn't the only guy in the world. And even if his only relationship ever had been more pain than anything else _(oh god, don't even think about Sebastian right now)_, it didn't mean he wouldn't get a chance, eventually. New York was not Ohio. He'd get his opportunity when the right guy appeared. He just had to forget about Kurt and move on.

"It was just a long day."

"You sure? No problems with your classes or anything?" Cooper pressed, not sounding convinced. Blaine smiled despite of himself. Call him an attention-whore, but he loved when Cooper tried to take care of him. He hadn't gotten enough of people looking out for him in his childhood.

"I'm fine, Coop. I'll probably just go to bed early. Really, don't worry." Blaine made his smile grow a little to assure his brother, until Cooper finally nodded and went back to his notes. Blaine stayed sitting a while longer, thanking Cooper internally for making him feel a little bit better, however inadvertently.

Cooper was probably the most difficult person Blaine knew. He was difficult to read, difficult to handle, and difficult to please. He also didn't take anyone's crap and ignored anyone he didn't think was worth his time. So if Cooper liked Blaine, it probably meant that Blaine wasn't mistaken about being nice. Because yeah, he was Cooper's brother, but if Cooper thought he was an idiot, he wouldn't pay him two seconds of attention.

* * *

Thoughts of Kurt flew around in Blaine's head constantly, no matter how he tried to avoid them – actually, avoid everything that had a connection with Kurt.

It really wasn't that difficult. It was his first year in New York, and there were always things to occupy his mind. There were classes to attend, friends to talk to, new neighborhoods to walk around, and an endless amount of coffee shops to try. And if none of them were ever quite as good as the _Valdez_, that was fine – it only meant Blaine had lots to explore yet.

He was probably being paranoid. It wasn't like he and Kurt had had some big love story from which he had been left wounded and broken, or even like he was in love with the guy. But he _did_ prefer to play it safe, because he had experience with being used and really didn't want to repeat it. And yeah, Kurt was probably nothing like Sebastian and most likely wasn't only interested in getting into his pants, but in a way, he _did_ want to get close to Blaine and use him, so it was better to stop it in the early stages. Wouldn't it be sad if he went and fell for _another_ guy who only wanted to use him?

And it wasn't like he had to change that much of his day-to-day routine. He just looked for different places to drink his coffee at and get some of his studying done and assiduously avoided his own apartment every Tuesday and Friday afternoon. Friday was trickier because it was movie-and-takeout night, so he couldn't get there too late, but he'd managed – until now.

Because right now, after three weeks of successful avoidance, he found himself face-to-face with Kurt.

"Blaine! Hi!" Kurt greeted with a smile, and Blaine cursed the fact that it was as pretty and as contagious as ever. "I haven't seen you in ages!"

A rebellious spark of hope in Blaine's chest came to life at Kurt's friendly tone, but his mind smashed it in the next second. _This guy likes your brother. Don't you dare forget that._

"Hey, yeah, weird, huh?" Blaine replied lamely. He really didn't know what to say. "So, how are you? Just getting out of lessons?" They were on a sidewalk just a block away from Blaine and Cooper's apartment. If Blaine had waited just two more minutes, he would have missed Kurt.

"Yes; I'm still going every week."

"Oh, cool. I just don't like to interrupt Coop's lessons, you know? He's so focused on getting in the right mood and all that," Blaine said, feeling like he needed to give an explanation. After all, he didn't want to seem rude. It wasn't Kurt's fault that Blaine happened to like him.

"Oh, you wouldn't interrupt," Kurt assured him, waving his hand. "I mean, I wouldn't mind talking to you more. It was nice, that day at the coffee shop. I visited some other days at the same time to see if I ran into you, but you've been very evasive."

Oh, great. How the hell was he supposed to _not_ get hopeful when Kurt said things like that? (Was he _winking?_) And wouldn't he prefer to be alone with Cooper if he was interested in him?

…Had Blaine been wrong in reading Kurt's intensions about his brother? Could he be that much of an idiot?

"No evading at all," Blaine responded, giving a wink himself, because what the hell – if Kurt was flirting, he wasn't going to lose the chance. He just hoped he wasn't getting everything wrong. "Well, if you must know, though you should _never_ tell certain Colombian baristas we both know… I've been trying other coffee shops," he said, whispering the last part to Kurt's left ear. Kurt laughed his rich, enthralling laugh, and this time, nothing he did could kill the elated feeling in Blaine's chest.

"Whatever drove you away from the _Valdez_? Did Catalina ask you to move in with her and be her pet?" Kurt asked, amused.

"Would she do that?" Blaine answered, surprised. Kurt shrugged.

"She thinks 85% of the people in the world are adorable and wants to adopt them. I'm sure you're at the very top of her list."

Blaine didn't know what to make of that. Did it mean _Kurt_ thought he was adorable? Or was it just his height again, making him look childish? It sounded like a compliment, though, so Blaine couldn't help getting hopeful again.

This guy was going to be the death of him.

"I haven't had to reject any adoption offers yet." He laughed. "I just felt like exploring the city, since I had some free time. I mean, the _Valdez_ is amazing, but there's bound to be some other hidden jewels in this city."

"Oh, I know what you mean." Kurt nodded enthusiastically. "Last year, I did that _all_ the time, looking for coffee shops and little boutiques and places to eat healthy food. I found some great places, but I don't have as much time to explore anymore. I kind of miss it."

"Well, we can go together sometime," Blaine offered without really thinking. And damn him, because this was really not the way to forget about Kurt, but mostly because now he _really_ wanted to spend more time with him. "You can show me some your hidden treasures and we can find some more together. I mean, if you have time."

Kurt tilted his head to the side, smile widening. "Actually, that'd be lovely. Probably not too soon because I have a lot coming up in the next couple of weeks, but maybe after that? I think it'd be a lot more fun to share things with someone else."

Blaine blushed and smiled, trying to ignore the warning signs flashing in his head. Oh god, what was he _doing?_ He was setting himself up for heartbreak. But then, Kurt was showing interest, too, and it may have been Blaine wishing too hard, but he thought Kurt was even _flirting_ a bit. So maybe it wasn't a lost cause. Maybe Kurt had stopped liking Cooper in the last three weeks.

"I'm sure we'll be able to arrange something," Blaine said. He was too concentrated on the possibilities of what the future could hold to say anything else.

"Great." Kurt adjusted the satchel on his shoulder, preparing to leave. "Although between you and me" – he leaned into Blaine's ear, copying his earlier action - "we won't find a coffee shop better than the _Valdez_." He went back to his normal posture with a smile. "So I recommend you stop that fruitless search and just come back to this side of the force. We have cookies."

Blaine burst into laughter, and that was that. Kurt was back full-force into his head, and no amount of avoidance would change that. The guy was just perfect for Blaine.

He made the natural comment about Kurt being a dork, but agreed to meet him for coffee the next Monday anyway. One incident of small talk was all Kurt needed to turn him into a swooning, pining boy again.

* * *

That night before the customary movie with Cooper, Blaine commented about bumping into Kurt before and asked his brother how lessons were going. Cooper, never one to turn down a chance to talk, went into detail about what he thought were Kurt's strengths and weaknesses in acting, how far they had progressed, and how glad he was about Kurt being willing to keep having lessons indefinitely. Halfway through his brother's speech, Blaine realized he had completely missed an important fact into the whole Kurt-situation.

His brother _never_ dated his students.

Blaine went to bed a couple of hours later to think over the whole thing. He liked a guy that potentially liked his brother in turn. But his brother didn't date his students. And Blaine _knew_ it wasn't for lack of trying on their part. Cooper was just rather oblivious about the whole thing, like having a person as a student immediately blacklisted them in terms of possible love interests and so he completely missed their attempts.

Was it totally horrible of Blaine that he hoped Kurt failed as well? He may have a chance, if that happened. And if he was honest with himself, as interesting and good-looking as Kurt was, Blaine didn't think the outcome with Cooper would be any different. So even if he was right about Kurt trying to woo his brother, he would fail and eventually stop his advances like all the others did before him.

Was it horrible from Blaine to make sure he was there if that happened, in hopes to have a chance with Kurt?

It wasn't like he would be taking advantage of the situation. Okay, he was, but only because the information was right_ there_, and it wasn't like he had staged everything. It was Kurt the one who kept seeking his company. But even if it hurt a bit that he knew it was because Kurt wanted to get closer to Cooper through him, he _was_ getting closer to Kurt. Blaine couldn't be sure that Kurt would ever look twice his way if things weren't like this.

He couldn't trick Kurt into liking him or anything, but he could keep becoming his friend. He could talk to him and get to know him and have Kurt knowing about Blaine, and maybe he could warn Kurt about Cooper, that his attempt with him would probably fail. Would it look bad if he advised him to not pursue his brother only for Blaine to put the moves on Kurt soon after?

Yeah, it probably would.

Except, if they were friends, and Kurt trusted him and understood that Blaine wanted the best for him, maybe then he would listen without suspecting something bad. He would then see that Blaine would have advised the same even if he didn't like him so much.

Or maybe it would be best if Kurt didn't know quite so soon that Blaine liked him.

If they became friends, and Blaine managed for Kurt to trust him, he could tell him to drop his conquest and Kurt would probably take his advice. Or maybe Kurt would drop it himself once he realized that things with Cooper would never go beyond lessons. And then maybe Blaine would have his chance, even if only because by then they would become good friends who have tons of things in common.

He could live with that, with being sort of a second choice, if it meant he got to have a chance.

He needed some time, though. Blaine didn't want to look like he was cheating Kurt into dropping the thing with Cooper because Blaine liked him, but he didn't want for Kurt to build false hope about it either. He should warn him, just in a subtle way so Kurt wouldn't take it bad. And when it ended, hopefully Blaine would be closer to Kurt and he would have a chance.

He just refused to think about the fact that maybe even then, Kurt wouldn't be interested.

Next Monday, Blaine was back at the _Valdez_, his charm and friendliness turned up to a thousand.

* * *

Over the next several weeks, Blaine learned a number of things about Kurt.

First and most important, he confirmed that the boy was still pursuing his brother.

There was a lot of subtle evidence. Kurt still managed to turn all their conversation to Cooper, even when Blaine didn't realize it until he passed half an hour talking about his brother. Maybe it was because Kurt was so easy to talk to, or because Cooper had become such a big part of his life this last year, or because he had never had anyone to talk about his brother before, or because he never had someone to talk to, _period_. And okay, it wasn't quite like that, because he had plenty of friends and he had Cooper too, but Kurt got him in a way nobody had before. It made Blaine feel almost desperate to make his plan work.

He also learned that Kurt was, indeed, perfect for him. He was so much more than Blaine had thought at the beginning. Everything Kurt said was witty and interesting, but he was also open and understanding and listened about Blaine's life and problems like he really cared. He was so brave and strong, too, and after Kurt told him about his old school and how he'd endured all of the bullying issues, Blaine couldn't help feeling inadequate again. He remembered how he himself had run away and felt so ashamed that he didn't dare tell Kurt about his own story. He didn't want Kurt to see him as some cowardly kid, even if he probably still was one.

Also, he learned that Kurt was a great actor and an even better singer. And his acting skills worked full force in his lessons with Cooper, not because Cooper was a good teacher, but because Kurt sort of hated the lessons.

It was pretty ridiculous.

Kurt never told him, of course. But one Friday a couple of weeks later, Blaine finally realized why Kurt _really_ didn't mind when Blaine interrupted a lesson. His apparition usually made it end early, and Kurt seemed so relieved that Blaine found it hard not to tease him with it, mainly because then Kurt would know Blaine knew more about his intentions than he let on.

Of course, the fact that Kurt didn't like the lessons but kept paying and going to them was even more proof that he was very much into Cooper, and that was still pretty depressing. Blaine tried to give him little hints, like the fact that his brother hadn't had a serious relationship in _years_ or that he acted really professional with his students, but Kurt seemed unfazed, and Blaine backed off, afraid to drive Kurt away by taking a more direct approach.

As much as it hurt to know Cooper was the one Kurt wanted, it was easier to think about it while having hope that would have his chance later. He would probably like Cooper, too, if Cooper wasn't his brother, so Blaine couldn't really blame Kurt. He just had to work really hard into being enough of a friend that Kurt would still want him around after he called off his attempt to win his brother, and then maybe, _maybe_ Kurt would notice him instead.

That said, he couldn't help but get a little sadistic satisfaction every time he got to see Kurt struggling to follow acting techniques he obviously disagreed with.

"No, no, Kurt you're not _feeling_ it enough. Your voice isn't going as high as I know it can. Come on, I've seen you sing on stage – you're holding back too much," Cooper repeated for the fourth time. Kurt tried to suppress a tired sigh, and Blaine saw from his place at the dining table that he was working hard to hold back his temper. Blaine was proud about how well he had learned to read Kurt.

"Cooper, my voice gets shrilly when I try to talk like that. It'll be more like a terror-movie scream, and this scene is supposed to be angry. I can't be angry if I sound like a scared teenage girl," Kurt reasoned.

"Oh, but that's where the _emotion_ is. Come on, try it once like I'm telling you and you'll see how right I am."

Blaine finally took pity on Kurt, who was probably close to screaming in frustration. He had to admire Kurt's determination in this, although that was a bittersweet thought.

"Coop, it's getting late and I don't think the neighbors would appreciate screaming," Blaine interrupted, not pretending to be engrossed in his phone anymore and walking into the living room. "Hey, did you hear Lindsay Lohan is in the city? She's supposed to be filming a commercial, but got in a fight on some bar two nights ago so it looks like they'll probably cancel it…"

Kurt perked up quickly at the change of topic and followed the story in a second, explaining how it wasn't a fight but apparently her bodyguard trying to get her out of the bar because she was too drunk to walk, and Cooper went on about her needing rehab again and the lesson was soon forgotten. If Blaine was honest, Cooper and Kurt _did_ have some things in common, like their mutual love for trainwreck celebrity lives, so it was easy to engage them in things outside of their acting.

By the time Cooper remembered the lesson, it was too late to try to get back to it, so they just called for dinner instead. Their conversation about Lindsay Lohan and other celebrities who needed rehab continued well into the night, Blaine barely commenting.

It was weird, but it didn't really bother Blaine that Kurt and Cooper could talk so much and get on so well, despite the slight guilt that it probably led Kurt along in something that wouldn't happen. It just wasn't usual for Cooper to treat other people like more than acquaintances, and to actually _listen_ as much as he talked, but somehow, with Kurt, it came out effortlessly. Kurt didn't seem to take it personally when Cooper was being obnoxious and seemed to be better than most at seeing the difference between Cooper feeding him bullshit and Cooper being serious.

Blaine was probably getting _way_ too ahead of himself, but he couldn't stop thinking that if things worked out, he wouldn't only get a chance with an incredible guy – he could get a chance with an incredible guy who also got along with his brother. And wasn't that just perfect? Blaine cared so much about Cooper that it would probably be a deal breaker for him, that whoever he wanted to have a relationship with could be at least somewhat friendly with him.

Blaine just sat there, happily listening to their conversation. When Kurt was around, it was easy to let them engage in whatever topic they were discussing and just relax and enjoy the company. It was something that didn't always happen when he was alone with Cooper, because his brother was rather intense and craved attention.

Still, Cooper would constantly ask what he thought about what they were discussing, and Kurt would look at him with a smile when saying something particularly harsh about someone because he knew Blaine would jump to defend whoever just because he was that kind of a nice person, so even if he didn't participate much, Blaine didn't feel left out.

Friday night had always been his favorite, but Blaine came to love them a little bit more every time Kurt joined them.

* * *

By the time Blaine fully realized it, Kurt had already managed to worm his way inside the Anderson home. He sometimes came early to his lessons with cookies or brownies for mid-afternoon snacks, or they got so caught up talking after that Kurt ended up having dinner with them. A couple of Fridays, after watching the customary movie, Cooper had even convinced him to crash on their couch instead of going back to the apartment he shared with some other two girls because it had gotten too late or it was raining. He also came over some other times when Blaine invited him, and weird as Cooper always was about the 'privacy of his home,' he didn't seem bothered by Kurt's outside-of-lessons presence at all.

It made Blaine wonder more about Cooper's thoughts on Kurt. Then again, his brother didn't actively try to see more of Kurt or spend more time with him on his own accord, so he was probably humoring Blaine a bit, since he knew Kurt was now one of his best friends. Sometimes Blaine would even wonder if Cooper knew more about the situation than he let on, but with him it was impossible to tell, so he didn't dwell too much on it.

On the other hand, Blaine and Kurt saw each other a lot outside of Kurt's lessons, and Blaine was already sure that, at the very least, their friendship wasn't based on the fact that Kurt wanted to land Cooper.

They had gone through their plan of discovering "hidden jewels" in New York several times, although only one or two places ended up being really worth it. Still, Kurt had gotten a _divine_ vintage jacket out of one of their little adventures, and Blaine couldn't help but smile like crazy every time he saw him wearing it.

They kept meeting at the _Valdez_ several times a week, falling into an unplanned routine that Blaine loved because it had really come into existence spontaneously. They got coffee almost every morning and hung out for about an hour, except on Wednesdays when Blaine had morning classes, when they met during afternoons instead. Friday, it was Kurt who had classes in the morning, but they saw each other at Kurt's lesson with Cooper, where Blaine would arrive conveniently early and engage them in some conversation or other that would make them "forget" about the lesson, and Cooper would feel guilty about finishing early, so Blaine would suggest he treat them both to take-out instead.

It would be heaven if it wasn't for the fact that it was also hell. Blaine loved to feel he was closer to Kurt and knew him well, but hated that their closeness was always platonic. He couldn't hold Kurt when he was talking about a sensitive issue, couldn't take his hand when they were walking together, and couldn't kiss him when he was just smiling and being so beautiful that Blaine wanted to cry.

It was driving him _crazy_, even if he'd gotten himself into this mess because, as much as he tried to hint Kurt that things with Cooper wouldn't work out, he was paranoid that saying it outright would somehow lead to Kurt disappearing from his life.

It was also getting more and more difficult to see Kurt's hopeful glances at Cooper every time he said something remotely nice to Kurt. It wasn't like Cooper was mean or anything, but he didn't really give Kurt any hints about wanting more, either. It made Blaine feel guilty about letting Kurt get hopeful about it when he knew he would fail. It also made him angry at Kurt for still wanting his brother while Blaine tried so hard to get his attention.

And it wasn't like he hadn't tried flirting. He had tried implying at Kurt that he was there, that he was _interested_, but Kurt never took the hint. He didn't look at him any differently when Blaine was being purposely touchy, or when Blaine complimented him on his clothes or hair. Blaine even asked him to dinner once, trying to make it obvious that he wanted it to be a date without outright saying it, but when Kurt had asked if it was okay that his friend Rachel joined them because they already had plans, Blaine wondered if he himself was romantically stupid or if Kurt was just playing dumb.

More and more, Blaine thought about just coming clean and _saying_ it. Because could it be much worse than the twist in his belly every time he tried to flirt with Kurt, only to have him asking about Cooper instead? He knew Kurt pretty well by now, and he sort of shared one of Cooper's qualities in the fact that he focused very hard on what he wanted, and lost a bit of perspective on the bigger picture. So yeah, Kurt most likely didn't realize what he was doing to him (because if he did, he was just cruel), but that didn't mean it hurt Blaine any less.

The worst time had been when Kurt asked him what he looked for in a guy. Blaine's heart had started to pound like crazy, his mind wondering if maybe Kurt had finally noticed his hints, while Blaine timidly recited Kurt's description in such an obvious detail, that Kurt wouldn't be able to mistake it.

"I'd like a kind guy, who really listens to me when I talk. Smart and witty and I wouldn't mind if he was a little snarky, too. But mostly kind – like, thoughtful and compassionate. And I guess most guys would be taller than me so, yeah… I do want someone who cares about their… umm, personal hygiene. Like, that looks well put-together, right? And, umm… good hair. Comb-able. Not like the thing I have on my head…"

He had been about to get into beautiful blue-grey eyes when Kurt cut him to agree about wanting someone well put-together and _taller_, and then went on about his ideal guy, who _sort_ of resembled Cooper except not completely, because Kurt wanted someone thoughtful and considerate and Cooper didn't really fall into that category. His brother _cared,_ but his thoughts and considerations usually landed in unexpected places.

That was the first day Blaine had had to wipe a couple of angry tears after his time spent with Kurt.

Blaine knew this sort of 'plan' he had envisioned to have a chance with Kurt was far from perfect, but falling for him was a flaw he hadn't considered. He'd always known it was a possibility, but he'd thought it would happen _after_ the whole thing got resolved. That he would get to be Kurt's friend while Kurt forgot about Cooper, and when that happened Kurt would notice him and Blaine would fall while at least having a chance.

But it was probably already too late, and Kurt still looked as hopeful as the first day about his chances with Blaine's brother, and all Blaine wanted to do was scream at him to _get over it already_, to realize Cooper was not going to date him and give Blaine a chance instead.

Blaine wondered if it would sound to others as pathetic as it sounded to himself.

But even then, Kurt kept being one of the best things that ever happened to him. It was such a weird mix of feelings that Blaine felt like he would soon explode.

Blaine would soon learn that this 'plan' of his was much more flawed than he'd initially thought.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

That Tuesday, they'd got home early. Kurt suggested meeting after classes so they could walk together to the Anderson's apartment, and Blaine agreed gladly. Every hint of Kurt looking out for more of his company always made him happy, especially if he could compare it to the time Kurt would spend with Cooper. It was pretty absurd, but Blaine would sometimes weigh how many hours he spent with Kurt versus how many hours Kurt spent with Cooper on any given day, and felt as if he was ahead in the race every time. Except there was no race, only Kurt, and whether Blaine would ever manage to catch his attention in a romantic way.

They bought some cookies on their way home, chatting about things here and there. Kurt was a bit tired, since finals were coming close and he still used a lot of his time for lessons that didn't help him at all, but Kurt was nothing if not gracious in the way he managed. Blaine couldn't help but admire that about him, although he really hoped Kurt would get tired of it soon. As handsome as Cooper was, surely he wouldn't be worth getting in trouble with Kurt's studies just to pursue a crush, right?

When they got to the apartment, Blaine knew instantly that something was off. Cooper was walking around the living room while talking to himself, and as often as that happened, this time his voice sounded urgent and a bit worried, like that time when he had to admit to Blaine that he'd sat on his keyboard and broken it.

When he finally realized Blaine and Kurt were there, he made a small jump of surprise (and seriously? They had been standing there for over a minute), but smiled broadly, in a way Blaine knew well as his 'charming' smile. Blaine wondered exactly what had his brother broken this time.

"Hey! You're here. You're both here. That's fine; I should probably talk to both of you anyway. How are you guys? Kurt? Everything going well?" said Cooper in quick succession. In Blaine's experience, this was the closest thing Cooper ever got to being nervous.

"I'm… fine, yes, thank you for asking," answered Kurt with a confused look on his face.

"Hey Coop, what's up?" asked Blaine, not knowing if he should be worried or amused. He was sure it wasn't bad news, because those times Cooper usually got serious, but it was obviously important for his brother, or he wouldn't be so skittish.

"I need to talk to Kurt," rushed Cooper. Blaine barely had time to notice Kurt's matching surprised face before Cooper went on. "I mean, you should stay here to talk, too, shrimp, but it's mainly with Kurt. Hear me out before you say anything, okay?" he continued, this time looking directly at Kurt.

"Sure," Kurt agreed softly, looking to Blaine before putting his attention back on Cooper. Blaine felt his throat tighten up at Kurt's suddenly-hopeful expression, and had to look to the other side of the room.

"Right, so we've had lessons for what, like, three months now? It's a lot! You know, you're one of the students I've had the longest, although this teaching thing is pretty new. So yeah, the thing is, you _are_ really talented and I sort of hope I can be there to see how things work out for you, even if Broadway is dead, but… I don't think we should be having these lessons anymore."

He said everything so quickly that Blaine could mostly only catch the last part. He managed to catch Kurt's startled and rather hurt expression (and Blaine felt a pang of anger because _nobody_ had the right to make Kurt feel bad), but then Cooper was talking again, even before Kurt could say anything.

"I'm probably sounding a bit crass… I hope you don't take it in a bad way because it really isn't meant that way. You're good, even if you are hard-headed and don't always follow what I tell you, which is by far your biggest flaw. But the thing is, I don't really feel comfortable with this anymore. Like, you come over _all_ the time and we hang out and you're a friend of Blaine's, too, and I can't even remember the last time we had a _complete_ lesson because we always get distracted talking about something else and it's not fair, don't you think? I mean, for you, because you're paying for this and all, but it also makes _me_ look _unprofessional_.

"So I've been feeling really bad about this, except then I realized, it's probably _not_ something bad! It's because we're _friends_ now. And friends don't charge each other for these things, especially if the lessons are never complete, and that must be why accepting your money feels so wrong now. But if I don't _charge_ you, then there's nothing to be unprofessional about, so I figured the best option was to just stop with the lessons altogether."

While listening to Cooper's little speech, Blaine looked dumbfounded at how Kurt's face went from surprised and slightly hurt to surprised and _really_ hurt.

But then Cooper, in all his emotional upheaval, walked towards Kurt and grabbed his shoulder in a friendly gesture, and seeing Kurt's eyes lighten made Blaine's feelings go from surprised to dreadful. He couldn't really process what was happening, though, since Cooper just went on talking like he usually did.

"Of course, I had to tell you first. And really, you're a great actor and if you _ever_ need help with anything, I'll be more than glad to do it or help you practice, but these full-out lessons are really bothering me right now. And since you never seem too upset whenever we don't finish them, I figured you wouldn't mind stopping about them completely? And so now, every time you come will be just to hang out. Like all the times you come over with Blaine, only _more_, and to hang out with me, too. As friends. What do you think? I don't want it to be an inconvenience… I mean, I know losing my guidance is going to be tough, but if we're friends, you wouldn't lose it _completely_. I would still be there for you."

The grin that Kurt's face had now turned into was something he hadn't seen before. And Kurt had laughed plenty with Blaine, all the time, but the _way_ he was smiling right now, like the most precious and exciting gift had been presented to him, was something that knocked the air out of Blaine while making him feel like someone had dropped ice-cold water on him at the same time.

It wasn't fair. How was it fair that he kept pining for Kurt and _Cooper_ was the one who got those smiles?

Blaine clenched his jaw in an attempt to not let his eyes water. He was _not_ going to cry. This was _not_ the time to feel sorry for himself.

"I… Actually, that sounds perfect," said Kurt. Cooper still had his hand on Kurt's shoulder and Kurt was looking like he might burst of happiness and _god_, was this really happening? Cooper was just saying they were friends, so why did Blaine feel like he was interrupting a declaration of love?

That single thought left him breathless again, and Blaine had to look to the other side to control his breathing, trying to reprimand himself for overthinking things.

But oh god, what if…?

"I've been thinking about that too, actually," Kurt continued, and Blaine tried to pretend he didn't see Kurt's face starting to blush at Cooper's closeness. "Because finals are coming up and I'm on a much tighter on schedule, but I really don't want to stop seeing you guys." Kurt was blushing completely now, and dropped his look to the floor.

Cooper smiled widely as well, but before he could say anything, Blaine grabbed the bag of cookies and made his way to the kitchen. He couldn't see this anymore.

Kurt and Cooper's voices followed him, ringing loudly in the apartment while he left the cookies on the counter and opened the water tap to splash his face. He heard Cooper telling Kurt he could probably keep coming over the days they had lessons to hang out, if he had time, and how relieved he was that this hadn't turned into a misunderstanding. Which really wasn't true because Blaine didn't understand _anything_ right now, and he was pretty sure at least one of the three of them were misinterpreting what was going on.

Kurt, Blaine knew, was seeing this as an advance in his relationship with Cooper. This was probably what he'd been aiming for from the very beginning, and now that he'd gotten it, he would probably reinforce all his attempts at wooing Blaine's brother.

But what if… what if it was _Blaine_ who got it all wrong? Cooper had _never_ done this with any of his former students, so it meant Kurt actually had gotten to him in some way. And even if it was entirely possible that Cooper saw him just as a friend as he said, who was to say he couldn't fall for Kurt eventually, like Kurt was hoping? Blaine knew his brother was hard to engage even in friendships, so if Kurt had already managed that, why wouldn't he manage to do the other?

What if Cooper and Kurt got together and Blaine got to see the whole process from the outside, feeling his heart breaking every time Kurt smiled at his brother and not him?

He was shaking now, and _god, _stop it,_ Blaine, this is really not the time. The two people who mean more to you in the world are right outside and they are _not_ going to see you like this._

Blaine breathed deeply and urged his body to calm itself.

Back in the living room, Cooper and Kurt were now seated in the couch, Cooper talking excitedly while Kurt kept smiling at him. Blaine felt once again like he was intruding something, and wondered if Kurt would still want him to "interrupt" their not-lessons from now on.

"… and I'm telling you, I had them all eating from my hand, except this one woman who looked like she wasn't very convinced and I couldn't understand because I'm obviously perfect for the role. But then I remembered what you said about it, that despite how the character does everything in his own way he still wants to be trusted, because he has good intentions. And how that gives him vulnerability and all that crap, and women are all for that, right? So I asked to say the lines for the next scene, and you know, changed a bit the confident front, and it worked! After that she was eating from my hand as much as the others! And I got a callback not a day after!"

"Oh my god, Cooper! That's amazing!" Kurt exclaimed, looking like he was about to hug Cooper. Blaine managed to avoid thinking about this in favor of focusing on his brother.

"Coop! You got a callback? That's great!"

"I know, right?" said Cooper. "I knew it was a matter of time until I found the perfect role for me. And this show would be completely shot here, so I don't even need to think about going back to L.A."

"Did they tell you more about the process?" asked Kurt. "Are there going to be many more auditions?"

"They said they were going to send a couple of more pages from the pilot script for me to read before they tell me the actual date. Probably next week or the one after," said Cooper. "You know, Kurt, once I get those, you could help me go through them? I know it all about being awesome and sexy, but there are times when this guy is supposed to be _vulnerable_…" he said, his face crouching like he didn't understand why a character should ever be like that. "They're tricky. Maybe you could give me a hand with those."

Kurt's smile got even bigger, if that was possible. Blaine, as much as he wanted, was finding it hard to be happy for his brother right now, seeing how every little word he said made Kurt beam.

"It's great for a guy to be in touch with his sensitive side," answered Kurt. "I'll do my best."

Cooper thanked him and kept on chatting about how perfect he was for this show and how the world would finally see his talent. Kurt agreed with his head over and over again, that smile that made Blaine ache permanently attached to his lips.

Blaine wandered in and out of the room for the rest of the afternoon, feeling uncomfortable and out of place – a feeling he had never felt with his brother and Kurt before.

* * *

That afternoon dragged on Blaine impossibly slowly. He didn't know what to do, didn't feel at ease with just barging into his brother and Kurt's conversation like he usually did, and it wasn't as comfortable to just sit and listen to them as it used to be. His focus would inevitably land in Kurt's shinning eyes, which were inevitably looking at Cooper, and he would have to do his best to just pretend like everything was normal, like his heart didn't pang painfully every time.

Blaine went to bed that night with a knot in his throat.

He didn't know what to think about this. It had never happened, for Cooper to reach out to one of his (now former) students, and Blaine didn't know how to handle it. If it had being any other person, he would probably find it amusing and even sweet, and be happy at the idea of Cooper reaching out to someone, maybe even getting into a relationship that would last more than a couple of weeks. But this was _Kurt_. How in the seven hells could he cope with that?

Maybe he should have seen it coming. Seriously, he had seen how Cooper and Kurt could talk for hours and hours and be comfortable about it. He had seen how Cooper didn't mind having Kurt around, and how he would sometimes ask Blaine about him. Those things, which could be absolutely normal coming from other people, meant a lot more coming from Cooper. Hadn't Blaine relished on those very things when they'd started to get back in touch? Hadn't he used them as a reassurance that he wasn't a nuisance to his brother – that he actually cared? How could he forget that any small act of affection, coming from Cooper, meant a lot more than mere sympathy?

It meant that he _cared_, and getting Cooper to care about someone… well, it wasn't nothing. Even Blaine found it rough to make things matter to him, and he was his _brother_.

The fact that Cooper had actually used someone else's advice on one of his auditions… it was huge. Blaine had tried to give him tips _forever_. Even if he wasn't a professional, common sense said that you didn't need to shout in every scene to make a point. And maybe Kurt had told him in a different way, or he had a more professional point of view since he actually studied acting, but the fact was that Cooper only ever took advice from people he trusted. Whatever else could happen between them, Cooper already trusted Kurt.

Blaine wondered if Kurt knew what an achievement that alone was.

What was more, Cooper had _asked_ Kurt to help him again. As much as it was an off-hand comment, Cooper usually hated to rely on other people.

Still, did it have to mean something more? It wouldn't be the first time for Blaine to read too much into things. Cooper had only talked about friendship with Kurt – about acting and auditions and not wanting to take his money. It didn't have to mean anything else and yeah, maybe Kurt was also reading a lot into things, but he had been reading a lot into everything from the beginning. He could be wrong.

Besides, Cooper wasn't looking for a serious relationship. He'd told Blaine as much when Blaine had moved in, and Blaine had no reason to believe that had changed. And even if it _had_ changed, Blaine always imagined Cooper settling down with a _girl_. So even if Blaine knew about a long list of male hookups in Cooper's record, he probably wouldn't go for a guy in a serious relationship. And Kurt wouldn't accept anything less than serious.

Part of Blaine couldn't help feeling guilty for thinking like this – Kurt was his best friend and he seemed to _really_ like Cooper. But Blaine couldn't really bring himself to hope it would work out for him. He didn't know what he would do if Kurt and Cooper got together.

It wasn't the end of the world, though. Kurt and Cooper would be friends, and that was it. Even if Kurt thought for a while that he had a better chance, it didn't mean it was true. They would be friends, and Kurt would still be Blaine's _best_ friend, and yeah, maybe it would take longer for Kurt to realize that Cooper wasn't for him, and Blaine would have to keep hiding his feelings even longer, but everything would work out in the end. Somehow.

* * *

Blaine was well aware that he had been infatuated with Kurt for months. Even before they properly met, Blaine had spent so much time looking at and learning about Kurt that it already felt like a second nature.

So he was surprised to realize that, as much as watching Kurt was one of his favorite hobbies, there was a lot from him he had been missing. When he finally started to pay attention to his interactions with Cooper, Blaine had to wonder how he thought they were just teacher and student anymore.

It was particularly ridiculous because Blaine had been the one who made it all happen like that. He had been the biggest reason why their lessons easily turned into friends hanging out, and it was because of him that Kurt spent almost as much time in their apartment as in his own. He was pretty much the one who had encouraged becoming friends – he had been _glad_ at the thought of Kurt and Cooper becoming friends before. Hadn't he realized they already were?

Next Friday found them with take-out and a movie again, Blaine over-aware of Kurt's and Cooper's exchanges.

Kurt had arrived with a cheerful smile, looking even more carefully groomed, if that was possible. Blaine forced himself to not think too much about it and tried to just behave like he always did, but it proved hard when all he could do was watch Kurt and his brother interact, wondering if there was more to them that he had seen before.

There was.

For one, Blaine had never realized how comfortably they seemed to touch each other. Even if Kurt blushed a bit here and there, there were a lot of pats in the back, arm-grabbing, even half-hugs. Watching the movie, Cooper leaned into Kurt to comment something and remained there, most of his weight on Kurt, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Also, they kept mentioning these inside jokes that made Blaine feel lost and out of place. For some reason, he had thought that their interactions as friends only happened when he was also present, but this showed just how wrong he had been. They talked about auditions and possible roles, even _plays_, which Cooper had always said were boring and dated, but he discussed them with Kurt with as much cheer as any other topic.

They even _finished each other's sentences_. Well, Kurt finished Cooper's sentences, sometimes. Usually while rolling his eyes, like he knew what Cooper was thinking and didn't completely agree with it but found it endearing all the same. It made Blaine a little sick to see.

Blaine couldn't tell if it was something new or if it had been happening all along. Kurt, despite his blushing, seemed completely at ease, and Cooper was always an enigma to some degree. So for all Blaine knew, they had been like this for a long time and he had just missed it, thanks to his stupid notion that nothing could happen between them.

It was a notion that was fading away with every moment. If he was honest, he didn't know what to think anymore.

* * *

Blaine tried to be as optimistic as he could, even though his emotions were constantly all over the place.

He liked seeing Kurt so happy, but knowing it was because he thought himself closer to Cooper shot down his mood again. He liked seeing Cooper so excited about his upcoming audition and so focused on getting it right, but his new tendency to look for Kurt to talk about it made him feel jealous and defeated at the same time. So really, Blaine didn't know how good he was doing at 'acting normal.'

But if they noticed, neither Kurt nor Cooper said anything about it. Part of Blaine wanted to think it was because he was good at keeping appearances, but there was also the fact that Cooper barely thought about anything beyond his possible new role these days, and Kurt… well, he was otherwise distracted.

Though they had a lot of schoolwork, Blaine and Kurt saw each other just as much as they ever did. It was one of the few things Blaine could still hang on to – his (frankly absurd) competition of how much time he spent with Kurt versus how much time Kurt spent with Cooper. He still felt the smallest spark of achievement when the day ended and he knew he had won once again, but most of time he just felt like he was losing everything.

It was a big contrast to Kurt's mood. He was happy and smiling and sunny, and talked cheerfully about his classes and the play he was helping with as a backstage staff member, in addition to whatever he and Cooper had talked about lately. And Blaine didn't know what to do with himself anymore because of it – he couldn't help but being infected with Kurt's good mood and giant smiles, but every other second he remembered why Kurt was this happy and his chest would deflate like a busted balloon.

It hurt a bit that the two people who knew him best couldn't tell that he was going crazy. But then, it was probably for the best that they remained ignorant.

Just a week into this new order of things, it all took a turn for the worst.

Blaine and Kurt were drinking coffee at the _Valdez_ as usual, their conversation light because Kurt's mind was somewhere else. Blaine tried his best to not feel hurt after having to repeat what he was saying _again_, but it wasn't working very well. Maybe Blaine was just sensitive lately, but feeling that Kurt distant made him desperate in a way he couldn't explain.

"Penny for your thoughts?" said Blaine in a slightly-above-normal voice after Kurt blanked out again. Kurt finally focused on him, an embarrassed smile on his lips.

"Sorry. I guess I'm not much fun to hang out with today, am I?"

"I just wish you'd tell me what's going on. You've been like this for days," Blaine sighed, only lying a little, since he sort of knew what was happening – he just hated not knowing where he stood in it anymore.

"I just… I've been meaning to talk to you about something," Kurt started, a determined expression on his face. Blaine gulped, his hands shaking. He was pretty sure he wouldn't like what was coming, but he kept a smile for Kurt, trying to look reassuring.

"Okay. What do you want to talk about?" He hoped he didn't sound as nervous as he felt.

"Just… don't take this the wrong way, okay?" Blaine felt his heart drop a bit. He just nodded, and Kurt took his cue to continue. "I've just been thinking… umm… you know how we spend so much time together? Like, we see each other pretty much every day, and I love that," he assured in a hurry, "but, um, I also really like the time we spend with your brother. I mean, he's really great." Blaine gulped but nodded again, because he didn't trust himself to talk.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is… well, I know you pretty well. You're pretty much my best friend, after all. But… I kind of want to get to know your brother more, too." Kurt was now blushing, though trying to look normal.

Blaine just felt dread all over his body.

"You'd think you'd know him fairly well by now. We hang out with him all the time," said Blaine, trying his best to keep his face straight and his voice slightly teasing.

"Well, that's kind of the thing…" said Kurt, nervously playing with a paper napkin. "We hang out a lot _together_, but I won't get to, ahem, _know_ your brother unless I hang out with him. _Alone_." He gave emphasis to the last word, sending cold waves along Blaine's body.

He had to bite his lip hard. Would Kurt miss him having a nervous breakdown?

Blaine was unable to say anything, so he just formed a perfect O with his mouth, like he had _just_ understood what Kurt meant. There was a minute of silence, Kurt thinking he was giving Blaine some time for the meaning of his words to sink in but actually just giving Blaine enough time to swallow down his feelings.

Of course he had known all along that Kurt wanted his brother. But hearing it from his lips, even if he didn't say it outright, hurt Blaine in a way he didn't think was possible.

"So I was thinking that maybe… maybe you could… god, this sounds so awful," laughed Kurt, sounding embarrassed. "I thought maybe you could… not be there? I mean, of course I'm not trying to throw you out of your own house or anything like that, but school's getting busy and I'm sure you have a lot of things to do. And really, I _do_ want to hang out with you, too, of course I do, but I thought, maybe once or twice, maybe when Coop wants help with his audition and all… maybe I could go meet him and… and it could be just the two of us?"

Finally, Kurt stopped avoiding Blaine's eyes and looked at him with so much hope, with such beautiful anticipation, that Blaine knew he would do anything for him. He would ignore the emotional hurricane that was building inside of him and do whatever he had to because he could never say no to Kurt. So he found himself agreeing, even if he felt like he was signing his own death warrant.

"If- if that's really what you want," Blaine said carefully, taking a lot less time in finding his voice than he thought he would need, but the _look_ in Kurt's eyes – how could he deny him anything? "I mean, Cooper can get a little intense when you're alone with him, but yeah, I can make myself busy for – sometimes."

Kurt let a little sigh of joy at Blaine's words and promptly got up to give him a tight hug. Blaine's own smile was so fake it almost hurt to keep it there, but of course Kurt didn't notice. He went back to talk excitedly about his day, oblivious at the fact that Blaine was crumbling down inside.

And the big irony was, the smile that Kurt gave him for the rest of the afternoon was the closest Blaine had seen to the smile he gave Cooper every day.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

The following days were a bit of a blur to Blaine. They mostly consisted of filling his time with things he didn't care in order to carry out Kurt's request.

He did his best to not think about everything going on, because the minute he focused on it, his chest felt like it was shrinking into nothing and his eyes would inevitably water. So he just… didn't, and looked for activities to hold his attention, which also included avoiding the _Valdez_ and pretty much any place that made him think of Kurt.

It was a long list, but he managed.

Even if Kurt had only asked for _some_ time alone with Cooper, from that day on, Blaine tried to keep out of the way as much as possible. He didn't ignore Kurt, exactly, but he only met him for coffee when Kurt specifically asked him to and avoided going home when Kurt was there until at least dinnertime. Five days later, after arriving to see Kurt and Cooper cooking and bantering while Kurt directed his brother (and _god_, Cooper didn't even like cooking), Blaine started to skip those, too.

As much as Kurt had said he didn't intend to kick Blaine out of his own house, a bitter part of Blaine thought he already had.

But only a small part, because most of him avoided to think about it entirely. He focused on his schoolwork, decided to take up piano practice again in one of the school's music rooms, and hit the gym every day. He took on extra work in his study groups and volunteered to help his other friends with whatever they needed. Eventually, he managed to fill up his days so much that whenever Kurt or Cooper would comment on how absent he'd been, Blaine didn't even have to lie about being busy.

When he was alone at night, his brain couldn't stop to actually think about how things had developed, and it made him wonder where he actually stood. He didn't know if Cooper and Kurt were getting along better or not, because he wasn't there to see it. Cooper was extremely focused on his audition, now only a week away, and if he _was_ closer to Kurt, Blaine suspected even Cooper didn't notice.

Kurt, for all that he had pretty much confessed to like Blaine's brother, seemed to avoid the subject the few times they still met each other. Blaine didn't know if Kurt was catching up on Blaine's feelings thanks to his new behavior, or if he just felt guilty, since it was obvious that Blaine spent so much time away from his own apartment because of him, but every time they were together, Kurt made a point of learning about Blaine's many new activities and whatever else Blaine felt like sharing with him.

"How are things going with the… um… practice for the audition with Cooper and all?" asked Blaine one day after building up the courage, trying to hint that he was asking about more than acting. He was dreading the answer, but at this point, he didn't know if it was worse to know or not know.

"Oh, you know, good. I think we pretty much have it, but I'm sure Cooper talks about it enough already. Hey, what happened with that paper on child psychology you had to give? Did you find the book you needed for your research?" asked Kurt in turn, and that was that. The only other time Blaine dared to ask something about Kurt and Cooper's meetings, Kurt brushed it off in the same way, and Blaine just didn't have the energy to actively look for the answers. For all that he knew, there weren't any.

Instead, he just left himself soak in what little attention he could get from Kurt, who was an excellent friend even if they saw little of each other now. When they did, Kurt asked questions about the friends he did spent time with, and his teachers and classes, and seemed so interested to learn every little thing, that Blaine could pretend for an hour or two that he was interested in _him_.

It felt like heartbreak to remember he wasn't, but Blaine was getting used to the feeling.

* * *

"-and in that way, he is _so much_ like me. Extremely smart, cunning; astute. He does have a few weaknesses that I don't really agree with, but I guess Kurt's right about the character needing to have flaws so viewers can relate to him. But he's still the smartest guy on the show, so it's good. And he also has great style, which is awesome – I look absolutely _dashing_ in a suit. I also look amazing in leather jackets, but when I get the role, I'm sure I'll be able to give some ideas to the writers to include that."

Cooper seemed to barely breathe between sentences. Blaine had started tuning him out about twenty minutes ago.

It was true, as Kurt said, that Cooper talked enough about the audition and his practicing. Blaine didn't know how to get him to shut up anymore.

"Can actors really do that? Suggest things to the writers or ask for things?" asked Kurt before eating another bite of pizza. They were all sprawled on the couch, Blaine tired from a heavy boxing session on the gym and Cooper and Kurt fresh from spending yet another afternoon practicing the lines Cooper had received for his next audition. Blaine had to admire Kurt's patience – even Blaine, who had been absent during the vast majority of these practices, already knew by heart every line on them.

"It probably depends on the show, but since I'm going to be the star… Besides, why wouldn't they? My ideas are great," Cooper replied, like it was obvious, before going back to his pizza. From his side, Blaine and Kurt shared an amused smile.

Moments like that left Blaine even more clueless than before. Here they were, all three of them having a nice conversation (even if Cooper was mostly the one who talked), and, thanks to some miracle, it wasn't awkward or uncomfortable. It was almost… fun.

And on top of it, Kurt had chosen to sit next to Blaine instead of Cooper, and sent him bright smiles, and tried to engage him in conversations every time Cooper wasn't talking.

"You know what we haven't done in a while? Treasure hunting!" Kurt remarked a bit later, when Cooper left for the bathroom. "A friend told me about a flea market on Brooklyn that we could visit. Do you think you could get some time away from your busy schedule?" he asked, smiling, and Blaine felt his heart expanding on his chest.

"Well, I don't know if I'll have time this week. Maybe if I cut out the gym on Thursday… but only for a couple of hours, because I need to go to the library, and then I promised Becca I'd have dinner with her to brainstorm together for our final paper," said Blaine, regretting his words as Kurt's face fell – even though he _really_ didn't have time.

"Oh… okay. I just… we haven't seen each other much lately," said Kurt, more quietly now, and Blaine just didn't know what to say. He wanted to do everything possible for Kurt to have everything he wanted, but he wasn't sure he knew how – or even if it would be worth it, for both of them.

"Sorry… I just… well, as you said the other day, finals are coming up and I'm… busier…" said Blaine, his voice lowering, and Kurt's face changed to rather… disgruntled. Or was it guilty? Blaine wasn't sure how to read it, but he didn't like to see that expression directed at him.

"I know; I…" Kurt seemed to be at loss for words, too. There was a tense silence, and when he finally said something, his voice was low as well. "I guess I just miss you."

Kurt looked shy as he said it, but he'd never looked more beautiful to Blaine. Kurt missed _him_. He was spending most of his free time with Cooper, but he still thought about Blaine enough to miss him.

Blaine found it hard to not start chuckling. They'd been friends for months now, but somehow this felt like the most intimate thing Kurt had said to him. And even if he should probably have been more careful, because Kurt liked his brother and they both knew it, Blaine's heart had already decided for him. Screw trying to avoid Kurt – Blaine could never say no to him.

"Well… I could definitely skip gym on Thursday," said Blaine, mentally rearranging his week's schedule. An afternoon with Kurt would be more than worth it. "I'll find time for the library in the morning, and I'm pretty sure I can meet Becca for lunch instead."

"Don't do it if it's too much trouble," Kurt insisted, although he was smiling a little. "I don't want to get in the way of anything."

"You won't. I mean… I miss you too, so… yeah," he added, trying and failing to not blush. "I don't know if we'll have enough time to go to Brooklyn, but we could do something else, or just… hang out."

Kurt smiled brightly and nodded.

Cooper chose that moment to reappear in the room, a new set of reasons why he was perfect for his new role on his lips. But listening to him wasn't that hard now, not when Kurt sent him a knowing smile now and then.

And was it his imagination, or had Kurt stopped looking at Cooper with his previous adoring smile? He listened, he was attentive, he laughed at his jokes, but somehow, for Blaine, it wasn't the same way it had been before. Somehow, it felt like Kurt and Cooper were just, well, friends.

Blaine didn't know if it was wise to still have a little bit of hope, but he couldn't help it. Maybe he was reading it all wrong, but he didn't know how to stop it – and moreover, he didn't want to.

After all, Cooper was still Cooper. And as much as he now trusted and somewhat relied on Kurt, he was still the guy who only thought of his career and didn't want a serious relationship – or a relationship at all, for that matter. Maybe Blaine hadn't lost all his chances. Maybe this was all just a consequence of such an important chance for his brother, but once it was over, Kurt and Cooper would be just… normal friends. Never friends as close as Blaine and Kurt were, and not in any way interested in each other.

Maybe Kurt had really gotten tired of pursuing Cooper. And Blaine would absolutely do something about it, because even if Kurt only saw him as his friend, Blaine could ask Kurt to give him a chance and maybe show him they could be amazing together. If Kurt gave him the smallest opportunity, Blaine would do his very best to sweep him off his feet and make him forget he'd ever been interested in Blaine's brother.

But right now wasn't the moment. It could still come, and Blaine needed to have hope – it was the only thing he had left.

* * *

"Hey Kurt! I'm just heading out, sorry if I'm late! We're still meeting at the _Valdez_, right?"

"_Hey, listen, I think we'll have to cancel… Cooper called."_

"What? What is it? Is everything alright?"

"_He's fine, but he got a call an hour ago. Apparently they rescheduled his audition for tomorrow, and he's sort of freaking out, so I offered to go to the apartment to go over his lines again."_

"Oh… okay, yeah. Yeah, you should do that."

"_Are you coming?_"

"I… well, I don't want to get on the way or anything…"

"_Blaine, he's your brother. How would you get on the way? I'm sure Cooper would want to see you. You can help me calm him down._"

"I… fine. I'll meet you there."

* * *

Kurt gave Cooper his cue, and they started reciting the lines yet again. Blaine had heard them so many times now that he could mouth along without even trying. Still, Cooper kept insisting his performance was missing _something_ important, so they repeated them, over and over again.

As far as Blaine was concerned, Cooper's performance was as good as it was going to get – all the practicing was really showing. Blaine hoped it would be enough, because he'd never seen Cooper work so hard for something.

Then again, he'd had help. And Blaine was pretty sure that Kurt's presence was at least part of the reason why Cooper had practiced so much. It had been Kurt who helped Cooper realize his acting could improve, and that it was good to sometimes listen to the advice other people gave you. Cooper was still stubborn, but at least he didn't overrule everyone else's advice on principle anymore.

It was a big step forward, and it was good for Cooper, so Blaine tried his best to see the silver lining. He especially tried not to focus on treacherous side of his brain that kept remembering how Cooper had called _Kurt_ this morning, instead of Blaine, when he learned about his audition's reschedule.

He was probably losing his mind, but a part of him was honest-to-god jealous of Kurt.

It shook him in a way he hadn't expected. For all that he'd spent months being jealous of his brother, and for all he'd hated that Cooper kept stealing Kurt's attention, it had never occurred to him that things could go the other way around. He had never thought that there would come a day were Cooper would choose Kurt over him.

Blaine knew it was just a stupid phone call. And it made sense, because it had been Kurt the one to help Cooper with all of this, so of course Cooper would contact _him_ when he needed a little help. It was totally logical.

Still, Blaine couldn't stop thinking about how, just a couple of months ago, Cooper wouldn't even think to call anyone else than Blaine for something like this. This was important – more important than Cooper would probably care to admit. And even if rescheduling was hardly an unusual development in it, the fact that Kurt was the first to learn about it and not him shook Blaine to his core.

He just didn't understand.

Cooper had called _Kurt_. He had called _only_ Kurt, and Blaine had to find out _through_ him. And even if Cooper seemed relieved to see Blaine arrive home, hugging him nervously and thanking him for coming, he hadn't _called_ him. He had called Kurt.

It made Blaine feel nervous and restless, like things weren't right, but he didn't know how to fix them. So he sat on the dining table, watching as Kurt and Cooper kept practicing, the minutes turning into hours.

They worked so well together; it wasn't Cooper giving his ridiculous lessons to an annoyed Kurt anymore. Now that they worked as equals, the communication flowed easily between them, and it was obvious how serious both of them took each other's advice. Cooper was attentive as Kurt pointed out little mistakes, and even when he disagreed, it wasn't reflexive like he normally did. It was an actual conversation.

Blaine swallowed nervously but kept quiet. He could leave, maybe just go to his room and catch up with some of his reading. Or he could speak up and try to get a more active role in helping his brother, but for some reason, all he did was sit and watch them interact. If he watched enough, maybe he'd be able to understand what was going on – how this new dynamic worked and how he fit into it.

"You have this, Cooper. You've worked hard, and I highly doubt any of your competition worked out such a clear view of the character with only a couple of scenes from the pilot to practice. There's no way you won't get it," Kurt said firmly a couple of hours later.

"Of course I have this, but it doesn't hurt to amaze them beyond question with my abilities. That way, they won't even try to have a third call-back – they'll just hire me on the spot," replied Cooper dismissively. Kurt smiled at him, and Blaine couldn't help but do the same. Even in admitting he had to practice, Cooper managed to be self-centered.

"You're already prepared to amaze them beyond question," Kurt agreed. "And I have an essay to finish for tomorrow, so I need to get going."

"Wait, you're not staying for dinner?" asked Cooper, looking disappointed. "I wanted to have a final run-down after eating. I need you to practice."

Blaine had to fight the urge to point out that _he_ was staying, in case Cooper forgot about his existence – that he could get help from him. But it sounded pitiful even in his mind.

"You're perfectly capable of doing that by yourself, Cooper. I really need to go."

"Well… okay, how about this. Give me ten minutes to read it all alone again, and then we'll do one final practice together, just to make sure I'm as awesome as ever, and then you can go." Cooper took his script, and before Kurt could give an answer, he walked to his room, closing his door softly behind him.

Kurt rolled his eyes and smiled at Blaine, taking a seat next to him. "I do admire passion and focus, but this is a bit extreme even for me," he remarked, trying and failing to sound light and uncaring.

"He really wants this. And you have to agree, it's a great opportunity - a promising show with a lead character who's actually perfect for him," replied Blaine, happy to be addressed in any way, even if it was to talk about Cooper. He had been starting to feel invisible.

"I know; I just wish the whole process didn't demand so much of everyone else's time and energy," sighed Kurt. He kept smiling, but it looked uncomfortable.

"You've been really good with all of this. I mean, I know you like to… um, spend time with Cooper, but you didn't have to do so much. You're a… really good friend, Kurt." He heard himself saying, because it was true. Blaine hoped Kurt knew how amazing he was.

"I… that's not… exactly true," said Kurt, sounding like he was grasping for words. "I mean… I haven't been a very good friend to you. And I'm sorry about today. I know you had a hard time changing your plans to have the afternoon free, and I ditched you-"

"You didn't ditch me – Cooper needed help, and he's my _brother_. I would never resent you for that." Or he shouldn't. He was trying really hard not to.

"I just… I feel bad about it," Kurt said, looking fixedly at his hands. "I really wanted to spend some time with you today."

Blaine wanted to smile, but he couldn't. There was something heavy on his chest, something that filled him with tension and made him feel like it wasn't enough. Simple words of affection weren't enough to make him happy; they didn't change that his brother and Kurt sheared an easy, trustful relationship. It didn't change that Cooper called Kurt first to share his important news, and it didn't change that Kurt preferred to spent time with Cooper over Blaine.

So Blaine just ignored it, and focused on being civilized and grateful. At the very least, his brother was making his dreams come true, and Blaine should be happy for him. He _was_ happy. He just had a hard time remembering it above all the other things.

"Thank you, for helping him so much. This is really important for him and I know he really appreciates it. _I_ appreciate it," said Blaine, grabbing Kurt's hand on the table and giving a gentle squeeze. It was true – Kurt was nice and selfless, and Blaine could recognize those qualities even if they weren't directed at him.

Kurt fixed his eyes on him, his expression unreadable-

"I'm ready! I'm ready to wow you both some more. Come on, Kurt, last rehearsal of the evening – I promise to release you after that."

Cooper erupted into the room, making them both jump a little. For some reason, Blaine felt like his brother had just interrupted a very important moment, but he couldn't be sure. He still felt tense, and he knew Kurt wasn't completely relaxed either, but he couldn't tell what had just gone through in their conversation.

Maybe it was all in his head. Maybe Kurt had just apologized because he was that kind of a person.

Kurt looked at him with pursed lips, but stood up after a second and turned his attention to Cooper, ready to deliver his lines as he had done all afternoon. Whatever was left unsaid, Blaine knew the moment was gone.

It took only five minute to go over that final practice. Blaine marveled over Cooper's acting and Kurt's smooth delivery, but seeing them work together tightened the knot on his chest, too.

"Well, you're right. I have this in the bag," said Cooper at the end, a satisfied smile on his lips.

"I'm glad," commented Kurt, looking a bit unsure of what to do next. He looked at Blaine, then at Cooper, sighed, and finally started to gather his things.

"I really should go. Tomorrow's classes start early," he said, closing his messenger bag and grabbing his scarf.

"Hey, you're coming tomorrow after the audition, right? Both of you," Cooper asked, altering his gaze between Kurt and Blaine. "We have to celebrate! Actually, why don't you guys meet me after? I'll treat you to lunch."

"Actually, I have to-"

"None of that, shrimp – you're coming. It's been a long time since we did something besides hanging out here, and I know you don't have classes," Cooper insisted, leaving Blaine with no argument before he could protest any more. Then he turned to Kurt. "Come on, Kurt, this is as much your victory as it is mine. You're not going to leave me in such a key moment of my career, are you?"

Cooper looked at Kurt with such intensity that it seemed to leave him paralyzed. Kurt's eyes were wide, his hands clutching his scarf, and his mouth was the slightest bit open. He swallowed loudly, and, after a couple of seconds managed to say, "Okay."

Cooper smiled widely, his body giving a little jump, like he couldn't contain his excitement. He walked towards Kurt, stopping in front of him and taking the scarf from his hands.

"Here, let me help you with that," he said, his smile still radiant as he carefully wrapped the thin fabric around Kurt's neck. He got a little closer to make a stylish knot, and then smoothed the sides carefully. "I don't think I'll be able to thank you enough for how much you've helped me," he said softly while he worked. "You made me step up my game, and without you, I probably wouldn't have realized I needed to. So… thanks."

Cooper's bright smile had turned into something warm and meaningful. After finishing the knot, one of his hands came to rest on Kurt's shoulder, and his thumb gave the smallest, softest caress to the side of his neck.

Blaine looked helplessly from across the room, his jaw clenched and eyes burning.

"Come on; I'll walk you outside."

Cooper released Kurt, striding to the door. Kurt, still in shock, stole a look at Blaine but averted his eyes just as quickly, picking up his bag instead and following Cooper to the door.

Blaine stood alone, his mind at loss and his watered eyes fixed on the spot were Kurt and Cooper had stood just a few seconds ago.

* * *

Blaine walked to his room like a zombie.

He got out of his clothes, pulled on a loose shirt, and went to the bathroom to brush his teeth on autopilot. He closed the door to his room, shutting off the sounds of Cooper repeating his lines yet again on the living room. He got into bed and covered himself completely with his blankets before he finally let himself break down.

This was it. If there was ever a possibility that Kurt and his brother would end up together, it was right here.

As much as Blaine hadn't known what to make of their relationship before, he couldn't play blind to what was in front of him, what was happening right in front of his eyes, oblivious to how much it made him hurt.

What had he expected? After seeing them bonding; after seeing his brother getting more and more comfortable with Kurt; after seeing Kurt's smiles every time they seemed to be getting closer – did he really expect that it would end in nothing? Did he really believe he would still have a chance?

He had been fooling himself; that much was obvious. He was an idiot if he'd thought this would end in nothing less than heartbreak for him. He was a fool to believe that he could ever interest Kurt while having Cooper at his side, making it clear just how much he lacked. He was a fool for believing it would ever work out in his favor.

Maybe this was his punishment for being so selfish. He was just realizing it, but ever since this all started, all he'd done was think of himself – how to get Kurt to like him, how to get closer to him, how to get Cooper out of the picture. What about what Kurt wanted? He had wanted Cooper from the very beginning, and why did Blaine ever thought he knew better? Why did he ever think he was better for Kurt?

And Cooper… Why did he think Cooper wouldn't be interested? Why wouldn't he, if Kurt was funny and amazing and gorgeous and loving and everything anyone could ever want?

He had been selfish. He hadn't thought about Kurt's feelings, much less about Cooper's. He had thought only of himself, and gotten exactly what he deserved.

Kurt had every right to like whoever he liked, and be happy with whoever he wanted. And Cooper… god, Cooper had done so much for Blaine. He had moved to New York to be with him, had encouraged him in his studies, had been there when Blaine didn't have anyone else. Cooper deserved to be happy, and he definitely deserved a better brother than Blaine, who had put himself first when he should have been thinking of others.

Cooper deserved Kurt much more than Blaine did.

Blaine was ashamed, thinking back and realizing how little he had thought of his brother in this. He had just assumed Cooper wouldn't want Kurt and kept going along in terms of that assumption, even when everything started to show otherwise. He had only worried about his heart, never thinking of Cooper's. What if his brother had feelings for Kurt? What if he wanted him as much as Blaine did?

Unlike Blaine, Cooper actually had a shot. And Blaine would never forgive himself if he screwed it up for him – for both Cooper and Kurt.

Blaine remembered Cooper's only serious girlfriend, who Cooper never talks about. Paula, he was pretty sure was her name. Cooper had been young, in his first year of college, and he had come back next summer vacation to tell ten-year-old Blaine that he had met the woman of his life. He had hoisted Blaine in his arms and rolled around their backyard with him, laughing in a way Blaine can't remember ever seeing since. He remembered Cooper telling their parents about her, about how brilliant she was and that she was an up-and-coming designer, about her pale skin and long, straight black hair, and how he admired her because she worked so hard for what she wanted.

He had been so happy for Cooper. Even in years before then, Blaine could remember his brother being lonely. He was sure Cooper had never seen it like that, but Blaine could see how he never trusted his friends, even though he had plenty of them.

So it had been amazing, seeing his brother so cheerful and carefree, talking about maybe bringing her over to meet the family over the holidays. Except he didn't, and next summer Cooper's smile was gone, and he came back looking somewhat defeated. He had sneaked into Blaine's bed on the first night and held him as if he was a giant teddy bear for hours, his body shaking and his breathing labored. Blaine was pretty sure he was crying but didn't say anything – he had been scared. His brother _never_ cried.

Cooper had been gone when Blaine woke up the next day, and they never talked about it. Instead of the honest and carefree laugh from last summer, his brother now wore knowing grins and gave pretentious winks. He went back to his confident, self-centered persona, which had never really gone away.

It had been so long ago – Blaine hadn't thought about it in years. After that, Cooper's visits had become spare, mostly because he fought a lot with their parents when he was home. Cooper wanted to ditch college to pursue his acting dreams full time, and his parents had raged over it. In the end, Cooper did get his diploma, but he avoided going home as much as he could. Blaine had to come out to him on a three-day visit on Christmas, almost a year after he told his parents, and the barely-there acknowledgement he got made him feel hollow and unimportant.

That was probably the reason why he had tried to think about Cooper as little as possible afterwards. And when he finally fell back into Blaine's life, Cooper's grins and winks were so natural, and his stories about affairs and friends-with-benefits so usual, that Blaine forgot it hadn't always been like that. He never knew how or why things ended with Paula, but it made sense, now that he thought about it – that Cooper was so hurt after that experience that he closed himself to other people, and that he never let anyone get as deep into his heart.

So if he had a chance now… if he'd finally found someone who would help him open up and make him as happy as he'd been during that long-forgotten summer, who was Blaine to interfere? Who was he to step in the happiness of two people who could be so good for each other?

The emotion he had seen in Cooper's eyes earlier… he had seen it very few times in his life. Once, when he was eight, after he had stood at Cooper's side while he explained to his parents why he wanted to be an actor, holding his hand tightly; and a second time, just two years ago, singing his feelings to Cooper in Dalton's music room. This time, seeing them directed at Kurt, Blaine finally realized that his brother was the farthest thing from aloof and indifferent in their relationship, and it was probably the most he had let himself feel in years, the closest he had let himself get to a person who wasn't Blaine.

But Blaine was his brother. Kurt… he could be so much more. Everything Blaine had ever wanted in a guy – companionship, wits, smiles, tenderness, warmth. Cooper could have it all.

Blaine loved Kurt; he was too far gone to be able to deny it. But that didn't mean he was good enough for him. It didn't mean that he was who, or what, Kurt wanted, and didn't mean by far that Kurt would ever return his feelings. He had never really cared if he turned up to be a second choice next to his brother, but there was nothing for him to do if Kurt never needed to look beyond his first choice.

He didn't know if Kurt loved Cooper. He didn't know if his feelings for his brother were as deep and powerful as what Blaine already felt for Kurt. He didn't know if Kurt shook in anticipation every time he was about to see him, or if he daydreamed about Cooper's smile, or if he envisioned a life where he could wake up every morning at Cooper's side. And Blaine was even farther away from understanding what Cooper could be feeling for Kurt right now – if he really liked him, if he considered him anything beyond a friend, if he was really opening his heart to someone after so many years of being shut.

What Blaine did know was that he loved both of them too much to stand in the way. If he couldn't be the one to make Kurt happy, the least he could do was step away and not interfere with the one who could.

Blaine closed his eyes, resigned tears running from his eyes. He could barely breathe, his hands shaking so badly that he couldn't wipe his eyes, but he had made his decision.

He had to walk away, and pray to anything holy in the world that this feeling of oppression in his chest, like he was drowning in sorrow, would eventually start to fade.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

After barely sleeping the previous night, Blaine made sure to get up before Cooper to make him breakfast and wish him good luck. It was the least he could do.

He methodically put out all the ingredients he needed to make pancakes (lots of them – Cooper ate a lot when he was nervous), grateful to have something to do with his hands while his mind worked.

He couldn't keep playing blind. Things between Cooper and Kurt were very likely to happen, and it could happen soon. As far as he knew, a successful audition for Cooper today could be the little push they needed to get together. Celebration was always a popular excuse for those things to happen. Of course, a failure could work just as well; Kurt, being the understanding person he was, would be the best to comfort Cooper.

And as much as he wanted to be there for his brother, Blaine wasn't as stupid as to put himself in place to see _that_. It would destroy him, and he couldn't be destroyed right now. He had to be nice and supportive and cheerful, and if Cooper and Kurt came back with news of a new developed romance… well, he'd have to suck it up. He owed them both that much.

He started on the mixture, schooling his face into a normal expression. This would be easy, coming up with a credible excuse, telling Cooper he couldn't make it to lunch but him and Kurt should have fun, wishing him luck, and seeing him off. Then he'd had the rest of the morning and potentially the afternoon to build his wall up, one that wouldn't shatter if night brought him uncomfortable news. He could just _see_ Cooper and Kurt, both smiling excitedly and holding each other's hands, telling Blaine they were now together and he was the first who should know. Blaine would be damned if he didn't smile and congratulate them.

Then again, it may not happen, and Blaine wondered if it made him some kind of masochist to imagine the scene so many times in his mind.

As he poured the first bit of batter into the pan, he heard Cooper's alarm going off and his brother getting ready in his room. He tried to relax, breathe deeply, and remember this was just _Cooper_, the guy he saw every morning and every night. His brother, who cared about him and wanted for him to be happy. He would probably do the same for Blaine, which was all the more reason why he couldn't find out.

"That smells amazing," sighed Cooper when he finally emerged from the bathroom, his hair damp but styled. He was just wearing dark jeans and a blue dress shirt, but once again his innate charm made the outfit look polished and elegant. How did he always do that?

"I know you're a nervous eater, so I thought I could make you a big breakfast," said Blaine with a smile that he sincerely meant. This was his brother's big day, and he was proud of how hard Cooper had worked.

"I'm not nervous. There's no way I won't get that show. I'm perfect," said Cooper with a self-assured smile, but all the same sat down and started eating one syrup-drowned pancake after another. He was careful to not get any syrup on his clothes, but still ate about double of what he'd normally have for breakfast.

"You're going to be great."

"I _know_, I told you. So I was thinking – there's this Thai place a couple of blocks from there, I'm sure you've never been. And the waitresses all wear this sort of traditional dress that Kurt's going to _love_. It's the perfect place to celebrate."

"Yeah, about that…" started Blaine – better to get it out of the way quickly. "I don't think I'll be able to make it. I need to go to the library to pick up some books and I'm just too far behind in my reading. Finals are getting close."

"Aw, come on, shrimp! It's only lunch! _My_ celebratory lunch, and you want to skip it? Kurt said _he'd_ come."

Blaine pursed his lips. "Well, that's another thing. Don't you think this celebration should be for the two of you? You've both worked really hard for this." His voice lowered as he kept speaking. Maybe his brain couldn't understand why he was pushing Cooper to spend time alone with Kurt.

"But… you're here too," replied Cooper, sounding confused. "I know I haven't actually practiced with you, but that doesn't mean you aren't part of this."

"I know, I know. But being part of it doesn't mean I have to be there all the time, right? Besides, I really do need to go to the library. There's this paper coming up that-"

"Blaine, stop. What are you talking about?" asked Cooper, and Blaine felt a pang of guilt at his brother sounding a little hurt. "Look, I don't know what's going on, but it's not like I haven't realized you barely spend time here anymore. And I get it, college life is a big adventure and you want to discover new places and new people and all, but it feels like you can't get away from me fast enough. Did I do something?"

Cooper had his serious face on – the kind of face Blaine hardly ever saw, the one that made him remember that, whatever it looked like, Cooper was still a person with _feelings_. That he could still get hurt.

And _god_, why did Blaine have to always screw up so bad? He'd spent all night thinking about how he would do everything to not hurt his brother in the future, but he should have realized he already had. After all, he wouldn't be able to stand it if he felt Cooper was avoiding him.

"No. No, it's not like that. Coop, you did nothing, ok? I'm just… I just don't want to get in the way…" Blaine trailed off, his voice pleading for his brother to understand. He needed Cooper to understand on his own – Blaine wouldn't be able to say it.

"You're not getting in the way. We've been through this, Blaine – this apartment is yours as much as mine. You don't need to stay out if you don't want to, and you don't need to skip meeting me in other places because… because you think I need my own space or something. I like spending time with you," said Cooper, his voice was heavy with sincerity that made Blaine's heart clench. His brother was looking out for him, and Blaine needed to do the same.

"I know. That's not what I mean." How could he even explain what he meant? Cooper was taking his explanation the wrong way, but was also looking at Blaine fixedly, and Blaine knew he had to say something. "I just… Kurt," he offered, like it explained everything.

Maybe it did.

"This is about Kurt?" asked Cooper, his voice charged with… something. "Did you guys have a fight? I thought you liked him."

Maybe not.

"Well, of course I like him – he's my friend" (_my best friend_) "and he's awesome" (_gorgeous, understanding, _perfect_)_ "I mean, he's really great. And you… It's… nice, that you both are really… getting along," Blaine finished, with what he hoped was a significant look.

His heart was beating strongly, his hands shaking a little bit. He needed Cooper to understand soon – he wouldn't be able to go on with this for too long.

"Then what's the problem? I like him. He's helped me a lot, and I _like_ having him around."

Blaine was having trouble breathing. Why did Cooper have to take so long to get it?

"I know," he said, his voice small.

"So? I still don't understand why you'd have to-"

He stopped suddenly, and Blaine could see the exact moment when understanding dawned upon his mind. He didn't know why, but he was terrified. Cooper's eyes widened and his mouth slightly opened, like the new knowledge was too big for him to wrap his head around. But Blaine _needed_ him to get it. He needed Cooper to know that he would support him no matter what, that he wouldn't get on the way.

"You…" Copper started, but didn't find the words to continue.

"We're just friends," said Blaine in a pleading voice. He didn't know how else he could explain. "Just friends, nothing more."

"But… Blaine, you…?" Cooper seemed like he could barely talk, could hardly make sense of the conversation between them. And that was okay, because Cooper had always been like that. He always shut down for a little while before he managed to recover.

Blaine, on the other hand, needed to find his words quickly. He couldn't leave any doubt in Cooper's mind, whenever it started to work again, that he was doing this. That no matter what Cooper said, he had already decided to step aside. Kurt and Cooper wanted each other; they could be good for each other. Blaine was the one who had nothing to do in the picture.

He tried. He looked for the words in his mind to tell Cooper. Yes, he loved Kurt. No, Kurt didn't want him. He wanted Cooper. There was no reason for them not to try. He would be fine; he always was. He would find a way to smile every morning and keep going with his life and he _would_ be happy for them, even if it killed him in the beginning.

His words came in form of tears. He hadn't meant to, but he couldn't stop it. He was afraid of trying to speak, lest his tears may become sobs, but he was even more afraid of the helpless look in Cooper's eyes. He couldn't let Cooper think this was his fault.

An alarm started to sound on Cooper's room. It startled them both before Cooper bolted to follow it. Blaine used those precious seconds to try and dry his eyes, but he doubted he was successful.

When Cooper came back, he had his cell phone in one hand and his briefcase on the other. Blaine looked at the clock and realized it was time for Cooper to go, or else he'd get late to his audition.

They looked at each other. Cooper still looked stranded and regretful. But it was probably for the best; Blaine could clear his head and talk to Cooper when he had calmed down.

It seemed like there was something Cooper wanted to say, but didn't know how. Blaine waited for a couple of seconds, his breath catching, but nothing came.

"You should go," said Blaine instead. His voice was barely a whisper, but he knew Cooper had heard. They didn't need for Cooper to be late and lose his big chance on top of everything else.

Cooper hesitated, and Blaine knew he needed a bit of reassurance. So he stepped forward, grabbing Cooper's arm, and smiled as best as he could at that moment.

"Break a leg."

There was another second of heavy silence before Cooper gave a small nod and headed for the door.

* * *

_**A Cooper Interlude**_

Every time Cooper realized someone actually loved him, he became paralyzed. It didn't happen often, and maybe that was the reason why it always caught him so out of guard.

Well, it wasn't like he wasn't used to _some_ kind of love. The superficial kind, the one he received from the young students who looked at him with bright eyes and adoring smiles – he was used to that. Being such a dashing, talented and handsome man always brought that kind of attention; Cooper expected and welcomed it.

It was the other kind that he wasn't used to. _Love_ love – the honest, wish-nothing-in-return, would-sacrifice-anything-for-you kind of feeling that he didn't even know existed until well after his teenage years. It was so powerful, it stole his breath away every time.

Maybe it had been stupid of him to believe that kind of love only happened with romantic couples. If he had known it could happen with family, too, he would have been more prepared to talk to Blaine when he needed to.

Because look, even someone like Cooper couldn't be always perfect. And he tended to screw up with the people who meant the most to him.

It wasn't like he didn't know Blaine loved him, in a way. He was Cooper's little brother and even if he was sometimes dense and didn't understand what Cooper was doing or trying to do, he had always supported him. When Blaine was young, Cooper had believed there was certain naïveté in the determined way Blaine always stood by his side against their parents. Blaine had been a bundle of energy, always easily excited at whatever new idea or plot Cooper had hatched, and Cooper was pretty sure Blaine hadn't known what he was backing up most of the time.

As time went on, though, Cooper understood he would always find support in Blaine, never mind that he was now an adult and didn't always agree with Cooper's ideas. That, of course, was Blaine being silly, because Cooper's ideas were _awesome_, but he had come to appreciate that his brother would go through with them either way. It was probably brotherhood loyalty or something, because Cooper always felt compelled to do the same for Blaine, in a way he never had for his parents.

Then again, their parents were boring and close-minded. Cooper had learned that early in life, and understood that he was better off ignoring them, even though he did love them. It was the kind of knowledge he wished he could've taught Blaine when they were little – it would have saved him a lot of disappointment.

His relationship with Blaine hadn't always been what he'd wanted it to be. And in all honesty, part of it was Cooper's fault – he had failed to realize time passed and his small, innocent, easily-engaged little brother wouldn't remain so for very long. When Cooper had left for college and his life had started to change in ways he hadn't expected, a part of him had always found solace in knowing his little brother back home would always have his back. That was, until he returned to find a polite, pleasant young man instead of his little ball of joy.

It had been unsettling, but Cooper was nothing if not quick to adapt. After all, below that polished exterior it was still little Blaine, the boy who used to jump from tall furniture and swing on his arms like a monkey. Cooper could see it, even if his short visits never allowed Blaine to show it.

The problem was, being away so much made Cooper forget that teenagers were insecure and sometimes blind, and didn't always understand the unchangeable truths in life, such as the fact that Cooper would always support his brother, just like Blaine would always support him. And it had been something like a punch in the gut, seeing Blaine doubting him so much, because being distrusted by his brother was one of the few things that could make him feel like a failure. Cooper was sure he had covered pretty well how desperate he'd been to fix it, and how relieved he'd been in seeing Blaine reaching out to him again afterwards.

But even if his relationship with Blaine was probably the only one he knew he could count with for the rest of his life, he hadn't expected for Blaine _love_ him – not in that way that was so big and selfless that it made Cooper feel undeserving.

Because if Blaine was willing to give up Kurt for him, Cooper knew he would give up _anything_.

Cooper had realized about his brother's feelings long ago. It wasn't hard to see, knowing Blaine like he did. The way he looked at Kurt, like he was the only person who deserved his attention; the way Blaine followed Kurt with his eyes all the time; the way he smiled when Kurt said anything remotely amusing. Even the way he sometimes seemed jealous because Cooper spent time with Kurt, too. Cooper had thought it was rather funny, but now he felt like an idiot. How long had Blaine believed Cooper liked Kurt?

It's not like it would make sense for Cooper and Kurt to start dating. Kurt was great, that was true, but Cooper hadn't expected anything less from the guy who'd caught Blaine's attention. It had been easy to become friends with him, partly because the guy had a clear opinion on acting that Cooper learned to respect, and partly because, well, if Blaine liked him, he obviously deserved a chance. And after seeing his brother and Kurt getting closer together, trusting each other, spending almost every free moment together, it was ridiculous for Cooper to consider the merest idea of _himself_ and Kurt.

While walking out of his audition (_aced _it!), Cooper tried to remember if Kurt had said something that could lead to that conclusion. Cooper didn't think his own behavior towards Kurt could be interpreted as being interested in him, except in the fact that they had been spending a lot of time together lately. That was to be expected, given the importance of the audition he'd just walked out of. But otherwise, Kurt just felt like a friend, in a very Blaine-ish kind of way.

That was probably the best way he could describe it. Kurt reminded Cooper of Blaine. Not in that they were anything alike, because each had his own personality and traits and flaws. Kurt was proud in places were Blaine was mostly humble, and focused where Blaine tended to be carefree. They had their own opinions and beliefs, but they coincided in that that both of them made Cooper want to be better. They were both an inspiration to him.

He didn't normally find himself in such a place. Being as great as he was, it was hard to find people to look up to. Cooper did admire some icons in acting because he would undoubtedly become one, and could respect intelligence when he saw it, like with the guys who'd invented Google. But sometimes he would see little things, like Blaine staying up late because he had a test but he'd spent the day helping a friend, or Kurt arguing viciously with him because he didn't agree with one of his acting techniques, and suddenly he'd find himself thinking "_I want to be more like that._"

Even if they were almost a decade younger than him, they made him realize that he could be better. Kurt showed him that there was always room for improvement, and Blaine made him realize that there was more to life than flawless acting. That being a good person sometimes mattered more.

Seeing it in that light, he could accept his behavior with Kurt had probably changed – but only because it felt natural to trust him, to let his words sink in like Blaine's did. Besides, most of the time he was with Kurt, Blaine was there, too, and for some time now, he'd started to perceive them as a unit more than as individuals.

Cooper had actually been expecting for them to announce a new relationship status any day now. Kurt clearly cared about Blaine as well, which was all the more reason for Cooper to treat him like a closer friend. And Kurt had helped him so much in the previous days. Of course it also benefited _him_, since practicing with an actor as good as Cooper was nothing short of a gift. But Cooper knew college life was demanding, and Kurt had given him a lot of his free time. He was grateful, and he'd only wanted to show it. He hadn't wanted to repeat the mistakes he'd made with Blaine.

He had to set things right. Luckily, Kurt agreed instantly to change their plans and just meet at a small park near his apartment, because Cooper didn't think he could eat lunch while knowing Blaine was hurting. It was his responsibility to take care of his little brother, and he would.

KC-KC-KC-KC-KC

Kurt was already waiting when he got there. He wanted to do this quickly and get back to Blaine soon, but he had to be subtle, too. After all, he didn't want to hurt Kurt, if there was something to get hurt about.

"Hey, how did it go?" Kurt gushed, and Cooper had to pause for a second before realizing he was asking about the audition. Cooper waved his hand to lessen its importance because seriously, there were more pressing matters in his head right now.

"Fine; it was good. But there's something else I need to talk to you about. I thought it was better if we talked here instead of a restaurant. It's sort of personal."

Kurt smiled, although he looked uncomfortable. "Where's Blaine?"

Cooper sighed. "He's not coming. Listen, Kurt… about the last couple of weeks. I… you know I _am_ grateful, right? I appreciate how much you worked at this," he said, trying to sound sincere.

"I know," answered Kurt, playing anxiously with his own hands. Cooper felt a little anxious himself – something seemed wrong. Kurt wasn't usually this quiet or walled off.

"Right… well, I've been thinking… more like realizing some things about you. The way we've been these past time, and-"

"I think I'm in love with your brother," Kurt blurted out. Cooper blinked.

Well then. That certainly made things a lot simpler.

Cooper stared at Kurt, trying to see if he was serious, because this would potentially determine Blaine's happiness. Kurt looked back at him, expression determined, if a bit shaky.

"You think?" asked Cooper evenly.

Kurt exhaled nervously, but when he started talking, Cooper was sure he was being honest.

"I think I didn't realize before because, well, I thought he was just… my best friend. I was… distracted," Kurt muttered hurriedly, and Cooper found it a bit amusing that he was trying so hard to justify himself. "But I miss him _so much_ when he isn't there, and at first I didn't know why and now… I just want to be with him."

Cooper couldn't help but smile, a huge weight lifting from his shoulders. Ah, young love - foolish and beautiful and it kind of made him feel nostalgic. He should save this feeling to use in his acting sometime.

Kurt raised his eyes to look at Cooper, visibly relaxing at seeing him smile. Cooper got the feeling that he was probably missing something, but it didn't really matter. Now that he knew were Kurt stood in all of this, he just had to talk to Blaine and calm his worries.

"You should, then," was all that Cooper said, not pushing for more because experience had taught him that his friends didn't always appreciate him playing matchmaker. He was sure Kurt and Blaine would get there by themselves soon enough.

"It's a bit… complicated," said Kurt with a frown, "but I'll have to talk to him soon. I… I have to explain some things."

Cooper raised an eyebrow, wondering how much had been Kurt's doing what Blaine believed.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out. Is it ok if we skip that lunch plan? I need to go talk to Blaine."

"Wait - you can't tell him," said Kurt, sounding alarmed.

"Duh; of course not." He wasn't that stupid. "I have to talk to Blaine about _other_ things. Although you should probably talk to him soon, too," he advised. Kurt nodded like he was only half listening, and after a minute without getting another response, Cooper got to his feet and waved goodbye to a distracted Kurt. He walked home quickly, anxious to get to his brother and help him relieve his heart.

* * *

Blaine's morning consisted of him brooding.

He knew it wasn't healthy, and he knew that it didn't fix anything, but he was just getting tired of all of this. He was tired of this situation making him feel so bad, but mostly, he was tired of doing everything wrong.

He had handled that morning with Cooper so badly… He should have said more, talked more clearly. He should have been able to contain himself – Cooper wouldn't willingly do anything if he thought it would hurt Blaine, but this was different. This was about Cooper and Kurt's collective happiness.

He knew what Cooper would think. After all, it was the same thing he was thinking: he would walk away if it meant his brother was happy. But Cooper needed to understand that Blaine was the one who had to walk away this time.

He just had to reassure Cooper. He just had to show him that he _was_ happy for them (not completely true, but he would work on that), and that they deserved to be happy together. Even if his brother was probably only starting to feel things for Kurt, he should keep going. He'd admitted that he liked Kurt before he realized what Blaine felt, and Blaine wouldn't let him back down from that just because he thought it would make Blaine unhappy.

So he steeled himself. He needed to be ready when Cooper got home.

_I'm probably never going to be ready_, he thought to himself when he heard Cooper's footsteps on the hallway. Especially since he was arriving hours before Blaine expected him.

He breathed deeply and stood on the living room until Cooper opened the door and walked in. Once he was there, they stood in front of each other for several seconds before Blaine broke the silence.

"We have to talk about what happened this morning, Coop," Blaine started steadily. It helped to make Cooper listen when he used his 'grown up' voice.

"Yeah, you're right," said Cooper, dropping his things on the table. He looked at Blaine uncertainly and walked to the couch, motioning for Blaine sit before doing so himself.

Blaine started talking first again. He wanted to get it out before his brother even thought of complaining.

"Look, the way I was at the end of our talk... It was kind of exaggerated. I don't know, maybe I didn't sleep well or something. But the thing is, you _really_ shouldn't take that into account for your relationship with Kurt. You have to keep -"

"Blaine, shut up," said Cooper, sounding sure even if his voice was soft. "You're talking about something that doesn't even exist. There's nothing between me and Kurt, and there won't be in the future."

Blaine sighed. "No, _you_ stop. I knew you would try to do this if you found out and it's not fair for you, ok? You have to be with whoever you want."

"I don't want to be with Kurt," said Cooper firmly. Blaine blinked, taken aback. He hadn't expected for Cooper to say it so upfront.

"You don't?"

"No, I don't," repeated Cooper.

Blaine searched for any hint of a lie in his brother's face. But though he wasn't sure there was any, Blaine closed his eyes and shook his head. This was what Cooper wanted to make him believe, and Cooper had always been a better actor than Blaine.

"You said you liked him, this morning," Blaine replied slowly.

"I do. I like him, but not like _that_. Blaine, Kurt's a good guy and he's interesting and all, but he's… he's not for me."

"I'm not going to let you walk away because of me," Blaine insisted. "I've seen how you are with each other – there _is_ something there. I didn't make it up."

Cooper looked at him, searching for more words, and Blaine wished he would just give it up. It wasn't easy to do this. It wasn't easy to hand the person you loved over to someone else.

"I'm sure you're doing what you think is right, shrimp," replied Cooper after a while, his words even. "And I can't imagine what this is doing to you, because I know your feelings for Kurt are deep. Don't even try to deny it; I've known for a long time." Blaine followed his advice and kept silent. Cooper went on. "But whatever you saw or think you saw, it's all a misunderstanding. I do like Kurt, as _your_ friend or… whatever, but I never wanted anything beyond that. I'm not into him like that."

Blaine was silent, his jaw clenched, because _god_, could it be true? Was he wrong about everything he thought he'd seen?

Was it wrong that he wanted so bad to believe his brother? Would Cooper trick him with it to make him believe something that wasn't true?

_Stop it_, said a voice inside his head. _Not everyone around you has a secret agenda like you. He wouldn't lie about something like this_.

"Are you sure? You're not doing this for me?" asked Blaine, sounding almost scared. Cooper smiled warmly at him, putting an arm around his shoulders to bring him closer.

"I was too in shock this morning to really talk about it," explained Cooper gently. "If I'd been able to think clearly, I would have told you from the beginning – I don't like Kurt that way, and even if you didn't, that wouldn't change. I mean, I would never date one of my students."

A snort escaped Blaine. Life could be so ironic.

He snuggled a bit into his brother, resting his head on his shoulder. He suddenly felt light and tired, and remembered he had barely slept the night before.

His mind started to wonder about what this would mean to him. After all, it didn't influence Kurt's feelings. And even though he now had a real advantage in knowing Cooper wasn't interested, he was too tired to even think about using that to move forward into anything with Kurt. It had been too draining the first time around. Besides, it didn't feel right… he had been a fool to try plotting with people's feelings before.

With his shoulders relaxing in a way they hadn't in weeks, Blaine wondered if he should have talked with his brother about this before. Sure, Cooper would have teased him, but maybe Blaine would've had support from the very beginning. He would've had someone to talk to, someone to keep him sane. Cooper would have done that for him, and that made Blaine realize he didn't give his brother enough credit. He needed to start trusting him for real.

"Didn't you get lunch with Kurt?" asked Blaine after a while.

"I canceled. I didn't want you to stay at home with your thoughts for very long, so-"

"OH MY GOD!" Blaine jumped from his place with a shout, startling Cooper in the process. "Coop! Your audition! How did it go? Please don't tell me it went bad… Was it good? Oh my god, Coop, tell me everything!"

Cooper seemed to recover after a second, and his usual confident smile appeared on his lips. Seeing it rested something in Blaine's mind, like they were finally settling back into who they usually were.

"Of course it went well. It's me you're talking about, remember?" Cooper's self-assured tone made Blaine smile wider. "I don't want to say anything too early, but I'm probably… oh, who am I kidding? I totally _nailed_ it, there's no way they're not hiring me."

Blaine gave a little leap of excitement, hugging Cooper for a while.

"Congratulations! I knew so much practicing would pay off."

Cooper's smile changed. It became somewhat… shy, like he was debating with himself if he should say something or not.

"I don't think it was the practicing," he said, the tiniest bit uncertain. "I mean, of course it helped; they looked impressed. But what I think really got to them was… they gave me a new scene to read, and just five minutes to go over it. And it was this small monologue with the guy talking about his missing girlfriend and… and _hurting_, and… it made think of you."

"What?" asked Blaine, trying to understand what his brother meant.

"About this morning. There was this moment just before I left when… god, you were just _there_ and barely said anything, but somehow I could still see how much you were hurting and I swear it was louder than anything I've ever experienced. I… guess that I finally got what you always tell me, you know? That sometimes you don't need loud words to make a point, because the right kind of silence can be more powerful."

Blaine remained silent. Their smiles were still on, but Blaine felt like crying, though this time not from sorrow. He couldn't explain why listening this from Cooper meant so much to him, but it did.

"And I don't know how much I was able to portray that to the scene, but they really liked it. It was over after that, but one of them walked me out and said they would _definitely_ be in touch," said Cooper smugly. "So it seems, little brother, that _you_ were my inspiration."

If Cooper noticed a small tear escaping from one of Blaine's eyes, he didn't say anything. He just held him again, and let Blaine rest.

* * *

For the next couple of days, Blaine was able to relax. Not from his school work, but from his own mind.

Falling onto the right page with Cooper had made all the difference. He felt now that he had someone to back him up, no matter what happened, and felt stupid for not realizing he'd _always_ had it. Also, Cooper's good mood about the success of his audition was so contagious, Blaine found himself smiling most of the time. They were still waiting for the call to make it official, but this thing could take time.

Then, there was Kurt.

It wasn't like there was something wrong going on between them or anything – they just hadn't seen each other. And they _had_ talked over the phone, but it had been a three-way call with Cooper to tell Kurt about the success of his audition. His brother had given them the second-by-second recount of it, and then they'd proceeded to talk about what they would do when Cooper became famous. It had been fun an easygoing, and it reminded Blaine why he liked it so much that Kurt and Cooper were friends.

Still, it made Blaine wonder where they would stand from then on. He knew Cooper didn't want to date Kurt, but he didn't know if Kurt knew that. Cooper had skipped their lunch the day of his audition, and they hadn't met since. For all Blaine knew, Kurt was disappointed at missing that lunch but was otherwise the same as he had been before that. As different as Blaine felt now, it _had_ been only three days.

However, Blaine _did_ feel different, and he wanted to make up a lot of his mistakes from the last months. If he was honest, he didn't want to play any kind of game anymore. He had come clean with Cooper about everything (and been laughed at on several parts, but that was to be expected), and he wanted to do the same with Kurt. He wouldn't tell him _everything_, but he certainly planned on making his feelings clear to him, even if he'd probably dilute it a bit at the beginning.

He couldn't keep hiding his heart any longer.

Kurt was the one to suggest a meeting. Blaine didn't know if he had avoided him these days or if there was even a reason for Kurt to avoid him – he'd gotten used to spend days without Kurt lately, although it was something he planned on fixing at the first available opportunity.

Blaine understood they were bound for a serious conversation when Kurt asked if they could meet at Blaine's apartment instead of the _Valdez_. Blaine tried hard to not be nervous, but promised himself, for his own sanity, that if Kurt started to talk about Cooper, Blaine would interrupt him and just tell him how he felt.

He was done setting himself up for heartbreak. Besides, he had to admit, a big part of keeping this all a secret was his own fear of being rejected, and he didn't want to be a coward anymore.

So he got up early that morning, cleaned the apartment to Kurt's standards (hopefully), and pushed Cooper out with the latter's knowing wink before he sat to wait.

The bell rang just before 10:30, like they'd agreed. Blaine received Kurt cheerfully and admired the stylish vest he was he was wearing. His smile was broad and he greeted Blaine with a small hug, which was as good a start as he could hope for.

"I was thinking about making some coffee? I won't be as good as the _Valdez,_ but I promise it won't be awful," Blaine offered. Coffee always made things better.

"That would be great," answered Kurt with a warm smile, and followed him to the kitchen.

They chatted lightly while Blaine made coffee – about classes, mostly, and study groups and Blaine's piano practices and one of Kurt's crazy teachers. It was nice, unsurprisingly – talking to Kurt always felt comfortable and safe.

They moved to the living room with their respective coffee mugs after Kurt refused Blaine's offer to prepare something to eat. They sat in silence for a little while, each enjoying the warm drink and the company. Kurt smiled and set his mug down, and Blaine braced himself for the talk to come.

"I should probably apologize to you about my behavior lately," started Kurt. Blaine could see his effort in being calm and collected and managed to draw some security from the fact that Kurt was trying so hard to do right by him, too. Maybe even if things didn't work out with them romantically, they could keep being friends. "I've had a lot on my mind, and I wanted to think things through before talking to you."

"Okay."

"It's just that… things lately haven't really happened how I expected them to. I had some… plans, you could say. And they just turned around and… god, why is it that my most embarrassing talks always happen with you?" Kurt trailed off with a grimace.

Blaine didn't think Kurt was actually looking for an answer. Still, he might have had to step in soon, because it felt a lot like Kurt was talking about his relationship with Cooper and he didn't want to go there. Even if it was selfish of him as a friend, he didn't want it.

"Hey, just… you don't have to say anything you don't want to."

"No, I want to," Kurt insisted. "I'm just trying to not be awkward. And I feel like _such_ an idiot and…" Blaine stared expectantly, and Kurt sighed before continuing. "Remember the last time that I… subjected you to an embarrassing talk? What I said about… about your brother?"

Kurt's face was now completely red, but he also had that _determined_ look on his face and yeah, of course that was what this was about. Kurt was coming to talk to him about Cooper. He had to remember that, whatever his brother felt, Kurt's interests were already in place.

"Please don't talk about that," pleaded Blaine in a small voice.

It was obviously not what Kurt had been expecting, if his surprised face was anything to go by. Blaine felt bad for not giving him any warning of what was coming before now, but he couldn't hold it any longer. He knew he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he didn't get it off his chest.

"What?" Kurt asked uncertainly.

"Kurt, it's probably selfish, what I'm going to do, but… I wanted to tell you that I like you," said Blaine, looking directly at Kurt through his own embarrassment. "As in, _really_ like you. And I'm sorry if it makes me a bad friend, but I'd rather not listen to you talking about Cooper."

Kurt was stunned. It was a face that Blaine didn't know how to read – it could be good-stunned as much as bad-stunned. If Cooper was here, he would probably congratulate him either way for causing an impression.

"And it isn't like I want to guilt trip you about anything, either, because, I mean, I've suspected for a while that you like my brother and it was my own decision to not say anything and keep being you friend. But… these past days had been difficult, and I really can't hold it in anymore."

He let his words sink in and kept looking for any sort of feedback, but Kurt seemed as stunned as before. It seemed that he was like Cooper in that sense, too. Blaine really hoped that he wouldn't have to wait for half a day to get an answer – his nerves surely wouldn't bear it.

"You like me?" Kurt finally asked with a voice higher than normal.

"I like you. A lot," repeated Blaine.

There was a tight silence, and Blaine could see a battle happening behind Kurt's eyes. In the end, though, he managed to pull it together enough to give his own reply.

"Well… I like you too, Blaine."

"…"

And now, it was Blaine's turn to be stunned.

Even if he searched intently, he couldn't find but honestly in Kurt's features. But how could he like him, if only a couple of weeks ago he had admitted liking Cooper? Blaine was _sure_ he hadn't got that one wrong.

"I don't understand."

Kurt sighed and bit his lip, but it didn't take long for him to start talking again.

"This is actually what I wanted to talk to you about. I promise I'm not some… some tease who likes to go after just any guy. I know what I told you that other time and… and it was true. It just… changed."

"If you're meaning to say you like both of us, I'll be _really_ confused," warned Blaine, although there was the smallest hint of teasing in his voice.

Kurt grimaced.

"That's not what I meant. Look, Blaine, I'm not going to lie and say I didn't have a… thing for your brother. And when I told you that, I meant it. But then you _left_, and I realized what I felt towards the Anderson household was towards _you_. I thought it was Cooper, and maybe at the beginning it was, but right now the only person I have feelings for is _you_."

They looked at each other, like each of them was a big mystery the other wanted to resolve. Or at least it felt like that to Blaine. He had a shy smile on his face now, but his brain still refused to completely believe Kurt.

"It's a big jump, from Cooper to me," commented Blaine, because even if he had made peace long ago to be noticed after his brother, he would _not_ be a rebound. "Kurt, I really like you. And if you mean it, if you like me too, I want us to… to try it out. Have a chance together," he said softly. "But only if you like me for _me_. Not because of who my family is, or just because I'm available."

At that, Kurt looked rather insulted. "I would _never_ do that to you, Blaine. Do you really think I'm capable of such a thing?"

Even while trying to backtrack, Blaine felt relieved. Could he be blamed for wanting to be sure, after all that had happened?

"I just… I've seen you focusing on Cooper a lot," Blaine confessed; Kurt's expression softened immediately. "And I know he's… stiff competition. Like I said, it's a big leap, and I know I don't quite measure up to him in a lot of ways."

"What are you talking about?" Kurt asked incredulously. "There's nothing to measure up because you're… Blaine, I know you're very different from your brother, but that's not really relevant – I like you for _you_. You're well-mannered and handsome and smart and… and you understand me more than anyone. It's _you_ who nobody could measure up to."

Kurt's face was honest and caring, and overall so beautiful that Blaine couldn't help but want to kiss him. And since he couldn't find a reason not to, he did.

With his hands shaking a bit from anticipation, Blaine closed the distance between them, with enough time for Kurt to realize what he was doing in case he didn't want it. He didn't have to worry, though, because Kurt met him halfway, lifting a warm hand to his cheek.

If the world had burned in that moment, Blaine would hardly have noticed.

It was slow and gentle and loving, Kurt burying his hands in Blaine's hair before pushing a bit harder, making them get closer. He nipped Blaine's bottom lip with his teeth, and Blaine released a small moan. After another minute or two, Kurt pulled back.

"I've been crazy about you for ages," admitted Blaine – suddenly he wanted for Kurt to know all his secrets. And he wanted to make Kurt feel as beautiful as Blaine saw him.

"I'm sorry," Kurt said softly, and Blaine cursed himself a little – of _course_ that would make Kurt feel bad. And Blaine didn't blame him at all. "I was just so… narrow, I guess. I should have seen from the beginning what I had right in front of me. You've always been so amazing-"

Blaine interrupted him with another kiss, this time a little stronger and deeper but separating a minute later because, as exciting as this was, Blaine wanted to take it slow. He was pretty sure Kurt felt the same.

"So…" said Blaine after a small silence.

"So?" asked Kurt.

"Am I allowed to call you my boyfriend?" asked Blaine, his face starting to burn. That would be more than enough for now. Sometime in the future, when the moment was right, Blaine would tell Kurt how much he loved him and _maybe _Kurt would answer that he loved Blaine too.

Kurt smiled widely. "I think that would be appropriate," he murmured, leaning into Blaine.

It had been a day Blaine would always remember. Cooper only managed to keep himself busy for another hour, after which he went back home to find Kurt and Blaine making out on the couch. He had peeked at them long enough to snap a picture with his phone, which he later announced would get framed. He mentioned how sickly adorable they looked, then obnoxiously sat on the couch to watch TV at their side. The rest of the afternoon found Kurt and Cooper discussing the pregnancy of Snookie like it was state business.

Blaine just looked at them, happy to have the two people who meant the most to him at side. With them there, he felt ready to conquer the world.

**The End**

* * *

**OMG GUYS. I got the most amazing thing form my best friend about ten minutes ago... turns out, this fic now has a second piece of art! Check it out, it's awesome!**

**amethyst-uk dot tumblr dot com / post / 33681956683 / so - my - best - friend -just - surprised - my - with - an - awesome**


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